China, Here We Come!

Our Travel Approval arrived at our agency yesterday, and this morning we were notified that our consulate appointment (at the US consulate in China) is scheduled for January 21st.  This means we have everything in place to start booking flights and planning our trip!  We will leave next Thursday, January 8th, and I should have Kellin in my arms on January 12th - less than two weeks from today!

Hold on, sweet boy - you'll be home soon!

TA Online!!!

One last silly picture with Santa,
next year Kellin will be there in person.

I just got a text from Kathleen.  Our travel approval is online!  This is the last approval in our adoption process!  Now we can begin to make travel arrangements!  What a great Christmas present!  It will definitely reduce our stress over the holidays as a December 27th shut-down and reboot to the system was looming much too close for comfort.

We wish all of you a very Merry Christmas!

No TA Yet

We had hoped to receive our Travel Approval by now, but we have not.  It is not really late yet, but of course we are impatient and want things to be moving forward.  This is our LAST approval before we can move ahead with scheduling things in-country.  Please join us in praying that we will receive it tomorrow or Friday!  I'm not sure I can stand waiting all the way until next week!

Waiting for Travel Approval

I am thrilled to share that our Article 5 (don't ask me what that actually is but apparently it's important) was picked up today, which means we are now waiting for China to issue Travel Approval!  The last approval we need before we can make travel plans!  I could be heading to China in a month!

As the time gets closer, I find I am getting more and more excited to meet Kellin, but more and more sad for all those children who are not coming home.  As we've gone through this process, I have learned so much about the adoption process and about the waiting children in this world.  Adoption is frustrating, overwhelming, emotional, and expensive, but it is not impossible.  I have read many accounts of adoptive parents who describe adoption as the hardest thing they have ever done - and the most rewarding.  And many, many adoptive parents (perhaps even most of them) return to adopt more children after seeing firsthand the orphanages and the conditions these children live in.

This little boy is four years old, soon to turn five.  He is just a little boy.  And yet, because he is blind, and because he is a boy (not a girl), and because he is an "older child," it is unlikely that a family will choose him for adoption.  He is special to me, and I know there must be a family out there for him.  If anyone is considering adoption, or knows anyone considering adoption, please consider him?

   

http://reecesrainbow.org/59002/jesse

Letter on Attachment

Dear Friends and Family,

As we prepare to welcome our little Kellin into our family, we know that many of you are anxious to meet him.  And so we feel we need to share with you some information on the steps we will be taking to help Kellin to bond with us.

Kellin has had a traumatic start to life.  Unlike the newborn baby who is cared for by the biological mother whose voice and movements he already knows, Kellin was born to a mother who was unable or unwilling to care for him after his birth.  He was abandoned.  Instead of being nurtured by a loving parent who responded to his cries and kept him fed, clean, and comfortable, he was cared for in an orphanage where he was most likely fed and changed on a schedule, and left to lay in his crib most of the time.  Instead of a parent who cooed to him and smiled at him, encouraging his early efforts to communicate and interact, Kellin's cries and noises were likely ignored.  From his earliest days, he did not have the nurturing that allowed him to learn to trust adults to meet his needs.

At about ten months old, Kellin was sent from his orphanage to a foster care home (more like a group home) for children with visual impairments.  Although this was a good change for him, the change itself was likely traumatic.  Suddenly he had a new routine, new caregivers, and was probably very confused.  Here he had more nurturing and opportunities, and made great developmental gains.

Then, just about eight months later, he was suddenly removed from the foster care home and placed back in the orphanage.  Another traumatic, confusing change for a very young child.  Another new routine and more new caregivers, and most likely much less attention and stimulation.

All of these changes have surely had a profound effect on Kellin's ability to trust adults.  He has not had the opportunity to bond with a primary caregiver.  The lack of a consistent, trusted adult to bond with has a lasting impact on a child's brain and emotional health.  Kellin will have to essentially re-wire his brain to learn about love, bonding, attachment, and family.

In order to help Kellin begin to attach to his family, we will be putting limits on his interaction with others at first.  He needs to learn to be dependent on us, his parents, for everything, and to learn that we can be trusted.  We will be the only ones to hold him, feed him, change his diapers, and show him affection, at least for a while.  We may carry him around much of the time, if he will is able to tolerate that contact.  In short, we will need to do all the things for him that a new parent does for their newborn baby.  This will help him learn to trust us.

We will have to consciously parent Kellin differently than our other children.  One of the main goals when parenting most children is to foster independence, but this will not be a goal for Kellin for a while.  He needs to learn DEPENDENCE and TRUST.

Thank you all for your understanding and patience as we teach our precious little boy what is means to be loved.

The End Is In Sight

We are getting SO CLOSE!  Our Article 5 paperwork was dropped off at the US consulate in China today, and our case was approved to be expedited, so it should be ready to be picked up very soon.  If we are very, very lucky, maybe tomorrow (actually it could be tonight - China time), but more likely it will be early next week.  After that, 1-2 weeks until China issues Travel Approval, and then we begin making travel plans!  All I can say is WOW.  This is getting real, folks!

Decorating for Christmas

Advent is a season of preparation.  This year we are going through our normal preparations for Christmas.  Of course there is the decorating, and purchasing gifts.  And of course there is reflecting on what it means to be a Christian, and focusing on what can we be doing to better follow Christ's example.  This year though, the preparation that we are most focused on is getting ready for Kellin to come home!  We are getting so close now!  We can count the stages which remain on one hand.

For those of you reading this, and who have been following along on our journey.  We wish you a very merry Christmas!  Thank you for your support in prayers and deeds throughout the process.

Now what everyone comes to these things for, a cute picture!

Pooh placing the star.

Moving Forward

Things are moving forward now!  Our visa applications have been submitted to the consulate.  Our I-800 form has been approved (should receive hard copy tomorrow).  Our Power of Attorney letters were returned to us certified, and have been mailed off to be authenticated.  There really aren't very many more steps before it is time to make travel plans!

As far as the formal process goes, we still need to:

Get our passports (with visas) returned
Get our Power of Attorney letters authenticated
Receive our letter from the National Visa Center
Fill our the DS 260 form
Receive our Article 5 paperwork
Receive Travel Approval from China
Get our consulate appointment in China scheduled
Make travel arrangements!

Of course, there are still many things to do to prepare for travel, especially figuring out how to pack efficiently and still include all of the many things I need, not only for my myself but also for Kellin.  Adoption documents, clothes, blankets, diapers, wipes, diaper cream, bottles, snacks, toys/books, medication, etc.

I went through all of our toddler boy clothes today, trying to guess at Kellin's size.  His height would put him in 24 month size clothes, but his weight puts him in 9 month size clothes.  I figure I will take 18-24 month size clothes, and hope that at least some of it fits him.  And I'm guessing size 3 for diapers.  That seems so tiny!  Our three-year-old here at home (who, admittedly, is a big guy, and should really be getting out of diapers anyway - but try telling him that) wears a size 6.

We are in the home stretch!

So Many Children Still Wait

Quick update on our process:
We mailed off our Power of Attorney letters to be certified on Friday.  Once those are returned, we will send them off to Chicago to authenticated.  And then probably make a couple copies in front of a notary so we have "notarized copies."  I will need to carry all those with me to China.
This morning, I mailed off our visa applications to Chicago to be approved.  Best case scenario, we will have those back shortly after Thanksgiving.
We hope our I-800 approval will come before Thanksgiving also.

Please, please remember that our Kellin is NOT the only child waiting to be adopted.  There are many, even millions, of children all over the world waiting for families.  Most will never even have the opportunity to be listed for adoption, but for those that are, they have hope.  Please look at these children.  Can you donate?  Tell someone about them?  Think about adopting one of them yourself?

Remember Jesse?  I posted about him just a couple weeks ago.  He has a new picture!  Isn't he darling?
http://reecesrainbow.org/59002/jesse


What about this little guy called Louis?  Minor special need, and he is just too precious!
http://reecesrainbow.org/80554/louis


And look at this little one called Elias.  He's been listed for a very long time, since he was just a baby.
http://reecesrainbow.org/39101/elias


One more - this little girl is called Holland on Reece's Rainbow.  Isn't she just sweet?
http://reecesrainbow.org/70509/holland

We got a video!!!

Just received three videos of Kellin this morning!  All pretty similar, this was our favorite because he is playing.  Even though his weight is low according to the update, we think he looks healthy!

This was an amazing gift.  Hoping things go smoothly and we are bringing him home soon.

Back on the Roller Coaster

As thrilled as we are to have received our Letter of Acceptance and to be moving forward once again, it has been a whirlwind of a week.  All of sudden there are THINGS TO DO to move this process along!  Visa applications (for me and my dad, who will travel with me) - this is a complicated process!  Fill out the application exactly right and figure out how to apply at the correct location (mine is in Chicago, my dad's in Washington D.C.) AND have someone take it in person, no mail-ins allowed.
Power of Attorney letter (basically Eric has to give me permission to sign everything and make decisions while in China since he's not going along) - and this must be notarized, certified, and authenticated.
I-800 form - we've already mailed this in and are waiting for the two weeks in the "lockbox" to be done so that it can be reviewed and approved.  We should be expedited on this step so hopefully it will be approved before Thanksgiving.
And then there's some other stuff that I'll have to figure out soon.  Eek!

It was suggested to us this week that perhaps Kellin's needs are too severe and that we should consider choosing a different child with less severe needs.  Although we were incredibly hurt and angry at this suggestion, it certainly opened my eyes to how much we truly consider Kellin our son.  Exchange him for another child?  Never!  He is the son we fell in love with, he is the one we think of and pray for every day, he is the one our children talk about constantly, he is the one we long to meet.  I should add here that we truly don't consider his needs to be "severe" (he is blind and underweight - those are the only confirmed diagnoses), but even if he does have more needs than we expect, we wouldn't love him any less.  We accept that he may have some limitations, but we will always strive for him to reach his potential.  At this point, we have no reason to think that he couldn't become a productive, independent adult, so as his parents, we will do our best to help him achieve that.

Our journey continues!  Keep checking back for updates!  It's starting to get exciting!

Update!

On Friday evening, we received an email with an update on Kellin.  While we were disappointed not to receive any new pictures, we were encouraged by the information in the update.  Previously, all of his information stated how he mostly cried in his crib, didn't like to be touched, and was usually sad.  Our last update in May also said that he was working on standing and was not talking.  Now here is our update (the questions in bold were the ones we sent):

Is he in good health?

He’s healthy, development well. Except his special need (blindness) he’s very healthy and well featured. 

What does he like to eat and drink?

He likes to drink formula and eat cracker. His main food is formula with cracker and all kinds of baby food, such as noodle soup, mashed potato, mashed pumpkin, mashed sweet potato. Mashed Chinese yam; steamed eggs, apple juice, banana, etc. 
Does he sleep in a crib or a bed?

He sleeps in a toddler bed. 
What does he like to play with?

Most of time, he likes to play alone. He likes to fiddle with his lips to make noise, touch his eyes and face gently. If you give him a toy, he will touch it, get to know what form it is. He will also gently beat the toy. In his bed, he will move his body with the music. He can stand and dance by holding onto bed handrail. 

Does he like to be near other children?

He doesn’t really like to play with other children. He’s insecure. But he giggles when he hears other children’s noise. He can recognize which direction the sound comes from. 
Does he crawl or walk?

He can crawl well. He needs some assistance to walk a few steps. He can stand up himself by holding onto handrail, happily clap his hands and turn his head around. 
Does he say any words?

He can understand simple directions. He can make noise like “en”, “ah”, “ba”, etc. Sounds like singing. He’s very sensitive with other people’s noise. He has very acute hearing. He can understand if it’s praise or blame through nanny’s tone. He sometimes also says “mama”. 
What makes him happy?

He likes other to touch his neck gently, giggle him and kiss him. He likes to hear others talk to him gently. Likes his nanny play and laugh with him. He’s happy and giggles. 
What makes him sad?

He doesn’t like other comment or yell at him or all the sudden take him away from him bed will make him very insecure and cry out loud. 

He sounds like he's made some good progress in the last few months!  We were especially excited to read that he seems happier and more engaged with people.  We also got updated measurements, and while he is still very tiny (just under 20 pounds), he has gained about 1/2 pound since May, so at least he is not losing any more weight.  Overall, we felt very encouraged by the update.

We Are Blessed

I first saw Kellin's picture and profile on Reece's Rainbow on April 14th.  Three days later we were able to view his file, and by the end of April, we had committed to adopting Kellin and had started our home study.  And we started thinking about the unbelievable amount of money we had to somehow come up with.  So we jumped in.  We cut down on our own expenses.  We sold T-shirts.  Our daughter started Koins 4 Kellin.  We had garage sales, benefits, and received many, many donations.  In just SIX MONTHS, we have raised the $35,000 we estimate we need to complete this adoption.  Now, more than half of this was from our own savings, but that still means something like $16,000 came from fundraisers and donations.  All I can say is WOW!  We are SO, SO blessed to be surrounded by the supportive family, friends, and community that we have.  We know that there are still people out there who have asked about helping us.  We will certainly let you all know if we end up in financial need again (sometimes there are unexpected expenses), but for now, please consider helping one of these other fantastic families and waiting children!

The Hansen Family
This family lives locally and is in the process of an adoption from South Africa.  They are fundraising just like us, but even as they save for their own adoption, they came to our church benefit, our garage sale, and our Pizza Ranch fundraiser!  I am overwhelmed by their generosity in helping us even as they need the money for their own adoption.  Please check out their blog for ways to help them with their adoption expenses and to follow their family's story.  http://truthsofablessedlife.wordpress.com/

Olen's Family
Olen was our family's Angel Tree child last year.  We spent the months of November and December advocating and fundraising for him.  We have prayed for him every day for nearly a year.  We rejoiced when a family committed to adopting him last spring, and then were so sad for him when that adoption did not work out.  But now he has another family working hard to bring him home.  Please check out this family's sponsorship page and blog, and consider donating to this awesome family!

http://reecesrainbow.org/79929/sponsorstewart-2

Everett's Family
I had the opportunity to meet Everett's soon-to-be mommy a few months ago, just as they were committing to adopting Everett.  This family has been working so hard, selling baked goods every week and putting on a big benefit at their church.  Consider helping them out with your donation this holiday season!

http://reecesrainbow.org/80165/sponsorjohnson-5

Jesse
This little boy has been in my heart for a very long time, since months before we committed to adopting Kellin.  He is blind, just like Kellin, and he is nearly five years old.  He needs a family desperately, but unfortunately many families are hesitant to adopt a child who is blind.  He has been listed with Reece's Rainbow for (I think) around two years and has just $600 in his account.  PLEASE consider donating to his account or even consider adopting him?

http://reecesrainbow.org/59002/jesse

Kristoff
This little boy is SO CUTE!  He is just turning three now, and he has mild cerebral palsy.  From the perspective of an early childhood special education teacher, I notice that he is sitting up nice and straight, supporting himself, and his left hand is hanging on to the toy.  His right hand is fisted and his toes are curled up so I suspect that his right side is more affected by the CP, but I would guess with therapy, there will no limits to what he can achieve!  His account has just $27 in it.  Help him out, please?

http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=kristoff

We have been blessed to reach our fundraising goal!  Now we want to help other families reach their goals, and we want to help other waiting children find their families.

LOA!

Just a quick post to share that our agency received our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) from China today!  Two days ago, they told us it would be 2-3 WEEKS before we received it, and yet here it is today.  We are really moving forward now!  If things continue to go well, we are on track to travel in January.

Progress

For those of you who haven't heard, we have our approval from China!  No hard copy of the letter of acceptance (LOA) as of yet.  Kathleen did look into whether or not we can file our i800 with immigration before we get that...  And they said yes.  So thankfully some of the extra time we seemed to have had to wait for approval will be balanced out by USCIS taking the i800 early!

It was nice to see progress in our fundraising efforts towards our goal.  But even better is seeing progress towards getting Kellin home!  We could have lived with not making our fundraising goal, we have good credit.  We couldn't live with not reaching the ultimate goal of getting our son home!

Thankfully from here on out, stages should move more predictably.  Which is good, because not knowing when to expect something to happen is agonizing.  Now if we could just get an update on how he is doing...

Sometimes it definitely feels like this process needs to get with the 21st century.  As paperwork is snail-mailed back and forth, piled on somebodies desk (?) waiting to be read through.  The same questions are asked and answered on multiple forms...  People always say, "Where there's a will there's a way." Is there really not enough of a will to get children home faster?  Perhaps people worry if the process was too fast then people would not have time to really think it over.  Or that children would get placed in bad environments.  Seems like there should be a happy medium.

To end on a positive, let me reiterate - PROGRESS!!

And just because it is almost Halloween.  Pooh thinks it is time for something sweet.

 

Reached Our Goal!!

We've done it!  Our amazing community has done it, we have reached our fundraising goal!

Here is a breakdown of how the $35,000 was reached:

An explanation of the categories.

• Our Own Funds - both paid out already and sitting in the bank from personal transfers.
• Other - Donation and Sales - means personal donations we received and also left over garage sale items that Kathleen so painstakingly sold off.  Probably should have broken this down, but it was easier not to.
• Reece's Rainbow - both the Kehoe account, and the Kellin account.
• Other Fundraisers - This includes the used book sale at Ferguson Books, the fundraisers at Tropics and Pizza Ranch and Racing2Kellin t-shirts.
• Garage Sale - includes our two small garage sales and the large one at Epiphany.
• Koins 4 Kellin - the coin jars that Rabbit has been collecting.
• Epiphany fundraiser (Light Blue) - got cut off the legend somehow. It was the meal served at our church, with matching funds from Thrivent.

Now that we have reached our goal, we will be encouraging people who still want to help to consider giving to families who have not met their goals.  I'm sure Kathleen will have some suggestions in future posts.

We will continue setting aside our own funds as we can, because we know there are still expenses that will come up right away from lost income from days off, to doctor's visits, and purchase of a larger vehicle.

We still want all of you to be part of our journey, we will continue to update the blog of course, this has not just been about a way to raise money!

We would like to thank all of you for your support, which has come in so many forms!  We hope you will continue to support us with your thoughts and prayers.  Reaching this goal is in a way bittersweet.  It is a relief to have all the needed funding in place.  But raising money gave us something we could actively do to get closer to getting Kellin home.  Now we must wait, and hope the LOA comes soon, as the wait for it has already seemed so long.

"Ready" to Adopt

It seems like I'm coming across more and more blog entries and articles about how people are going into adoption without being "ready."  Some of them even seem to send the subtle message that people should not adopt until they are "ready."  So my question is: CAN you ever be truly "ready" for adoption?

Here are these things that we consider helping us to be "ready" for adoption:

We have three biological children, so we are well aware of the day-to-day, minute-to-minute needs and challenges of raising young children.

We have a child with a chronic medical condition, which requires regular medical check-ups and daily monitoring.

I am an early childhood special education teacher, and I have worked with many preschoolers with special needs, including visual impairments, adoptive backgrounds, different cultural/language backgrounds, and various developmental delays.  Kellin will come with all of these needs.

We have completed training specific to international adoption, read books, websites, and blogs, and asked many questions.

We are not naive enough to expect that adoption will be easy.  Kellin will likely have institutional behaviors and delays, and will be traumatized by the whole experience of leaving everything he has known.  He may have feeding difficulties, sleep issues, and attachment difficulties.  It may be years before he "catches up" to his peers, if ever.

So . . . do these things make us "ready" for adoption?  I don't really know.  But I'm not sure what else we could do to prepare.  While I do appreciate those who write honest, real accounts of the challenges of adoption, I would also like to know what they expect those of us without that real-life adoption experience to do to prepare.  Are we ready?

Changing the subject a little . . .

We have been waiting for our LOA for 68 days.  It feels like it has been way too long.  It is very realistic to expect that we could receive this approval this week; however, I am reaching the point of being afraid to hope when I go to check my email (which I do many, many times each day).  The sadness is getting harder to bear.

We had intended to wait until after LOA to request an update on Kellin, but this past week, I couldn't wait any longer.  We "ordered" an orphanage phone call through an organization called Ladybugs n Love, which basically means we paid them an amount of money and in return, they will call Kellin's orphanage and try to get updated pictures and measurements, as well as asking for answers to the 10 questions we listed.  Hoping to get that information this week also.

Last Saturday was our benefit at Tropics Bar.  Thanks to those who attended!  We believe that it raised around $675 for our account (it is not in the thermometer yet because we haven't received the actual amount yet).  If you do the math, you'll see that we are only about $600 short of fully funded.  $600!  With a good turn-out at our last fundraiser at Pizza Ranch on Monday, we could get there!  Please consider coming to eat pizza on Monday evening, and tell any local friends, family, co-workers, etc. to join you.  We have seen over and over again that small contributions add up to great things!

Randomness

Well, here we are on day 55 of our LOA wait.  The offices in China have been closed over the past week and will be closed for the next couple of days, so we can't expect any change in the status of our dossier until at least the end of this week.  Prior to the closure, our dossier was still "translated" but not "reviewed" (the next step).  Hoping and praying for news this week!

On Friday evening, when the kids and I got home, I realized that the house was cold and the vents were blowing cold air instead of warm (it was in the 40's outside).  Of course, I panicked and started thinking that we were going to need a new furnace, big expense, etc.  I flipped the switch off on the thermostat to stop the cold air from blowing, and nothing happened!  It just kept blowing.  So I flipped the switch off on the furnace downstairs, waited a little while, and flipped it back on.  Voila!  Heat!  Of course, this was AFTER I had put all three of the kids to bed on our bedroom floor with the space heater running to keep them warm all night.  Go figure, it was the best night's sleep I've had in a while - not one child woke up during the night.  No idea what was wrong with the furnace (and we're still going to get it checked out, just in case), but it's WARM in our house!

Our littlest guy Pooh had a rough week last week.  Starting the previous Wednesday, he had a fever and a cold, which turned into a nasty cough.  The fever was kind of off and on, but never very high.  The cough got so bad that he threw up several times just from gagging so much, until I finally took him to the doctor on this past Wednesday (after being sick for a week).  Got him on some antibiotics for a sinus infection and thankfully he is MUCH better now.  Turning back into his happy self, but still adjusting to the fact that he can't have everything he wants, as he was a little spoiled when he was feeling so rotten.

Tigger managed to break his glasses (again! - active six-year-old boys are hard on glasses), so this time instead of a do-it-yourself job, I took them into the store and got them fixed.  Hopefully the repair lasts a little longer this time.

Rabbit had the idea to plan a "surprise" birthday party for Pooh, who turns 3 in a few weeks.  She has been busy all weekend writing down plans and lists, and making games for the party.  Aww, so sweet!  It's sure to be a good time (if Rabbit can manage to wait the three weeks).

We have two fundraisers this month.  Our first is this coming Saturday at Tropics Bar in Janesville.  The amazing thing about this fundraiser is this is a business that neither Eric or I have ever been to, we don't know the owners or anything like that.  Tropics is located in the neighboring town where Eric teaches high school, and he is fairly well known in the community because he coaches and is involved in community events.  Anyway, after our article in the paper came out, the owner from Tropics called and said they wanted to have a benefit for us - and they put it all together!  We have worked SO HARD for all of our other fundraisers, but this one - we just get to sit back and relax.  We know they are having a silent auction and karaoke, and since it's being held at a bar, we're guessing it's more of an adult thing than a family thing.  What an amazing thing for them to do for us.

Our other fundraiser is at Pizza Ranch on October 20th.  We provide workers to clear tables and do some cleaning for the evening, and we get a portion of the profits and all cash tips.  Should be a fun night and hopefully profitable!

We are getting so close to our Kellin!  Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts!

Tropics Fundraiser

Here is a link to to the fundraiser at the Tropics Bar in Janesville on October 11th, starting at 1 pm. Should be fun, karaoke and silent auction!

Kehoe Benefit Poster

We are so close to our fundraising goal now!  It would be amazing if we could reach our goal by the end of October!

A Big Jump

If you are following along you will notice that our thermometer has jumped up substantially!  Most of that is from extra money I earned this summer.  The other part of it is from Kathleen diligently working to sell off some of the donated items left over from our large garage sale at the church.

We are very close to our goal of $35,000 now!  We have 2 fund raisers left:

October 11th at Tropics in Janesville starting at 1:00pm.  They are having an auction including many autographed items.  Also Karaoke for a Cause!

October 20th at Pizza Ranch in Mankato.  We will be busing tables all evening, we get all the tips for the night and a portion of the profits.

Hopefully you can come out for one or both to help put us up over the top!

Olen!

Anybody remember this little guy?



Olen!  He was our family's Angel Tree child last year!  Angel Tree is a fundraiser that Reece's Rainbow puts together each Christmas season.  Anyone can sign up to be a "Christmas Warrior" for a child listed on the Reece's Rainbow photolisting; when you do that, you are committing to advocating and fundraising for your child through the months of November and December.  Last year, our family chose Olen.  Olen turned a year old in May and has Down Syndrome.  He lives in an orphanage in Eastern Europe.  Last spring, a family committed to adopting him, and then when they arrived in his country, they discovered his paperwork was not ready and they were not able to complete his adoption.  :(  So he waited some more.  However, another family has just committed to him and are now working to bring him home.  Hooray!!  I was also excited to see that his family lives in North Dakota - the state where I grew up and where we visit a few times a year to see family.  It's amazing to think that Olen will be so close to us (relatively speaking, of course).  It gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, someday, there's a chance we could actually meet him.  Hey, I can dream, right?

His family's information is here: http://reecesrainbow.org/79929/sponsorstewart-2

Angel Tree sign-ups are going on now!  If you are interested in signing up to advocate/fundraise for one of these children yourself this year, check out this link: http://reecesrainbow.org/christmaswarriorprogram

As far as our own adoption, there's really nothing new.  We are on day 42 of our LOA wait, which means in about two weeks we can realistically start hoping, just a little, to receive our LOA.  Not that it will necessarily come in two weeks, but by then it will be possible that it COULD come.

Fundraising continues to move ahead.  We have another garage sale this weekend, another benefit on October 11th, and Pizza Ranch night on October 20th.  As we are only about $5000 from our goal, we are hoping to be there after all these events are over.  When you look at how far we have come, $5000 really doesn't seem like much, but it's still $5000!

On Sunday, I randomly decided I wanted to watch our video of Kellin.  We have just the one video, about 30 seconds long, taken over a year and half ago.  It shows Kellin laying on the floor making some noises, and then rolling to his side and starting to cry.  That's it.  I ended up watching it several times, and then Pooh (our two-year-old) came over and wanted to watch it too, so we watched three more times.  Sigh.  I SO long for the day that we will KNOW Kellin, not just as a handful of pictures, a 30-second video, and a few pages of medical/developmental information, but as a PERSON.  What does he like?  What doesn't he like?  What does his voice sound like?  How big is he now?  What will it feel like to finally hold him?

A Seed Is Only the Beginning

A the beginning of the summer our pastor handed out sunflower seeds to each of our children during a sermon.  The message was about how amazing things start so small.  Traditionally I think an acorn is used in the parable, but our pastor is wise and realized children don't have the patience to wait for an oak.

As two of the sunflowers are now taller than me (one didn't get enough sun) it got me reflecting on the message.  And yes, amazing things do start small.  But I think part of that message is missing.  Not everything that is the sunflower came from the seed.  Only the idea of the sunflower comes from the seed.  The rest comes from the soil, the rain, the sunlight.

This got me reflecting further.  The idea to bring Kellin home was a small thing.  And reach its fruition we need a lot of help.  And just like a seed does not get all its help from just one place, neither have we.  All the diverse help we have received, big and small, all go into making that one big accomplishment getting Kellin home!

From there, we can consider him an acorn, and wait patiently for the mighty oak that he will someday become!

Finances

Day 28 of LOA wait!  That means we could be as much as halfway through our wait for the BIG approval from China!  I am anxiously waiting for this for several reasons - one, because it means we are that much closer to our son; two, because it means we can more accurately predict our travel dates and start to make plans; and three, because we are going to try and get an update on our son and I can't WAIT for new pictures and information!!

I wanted to share an update on our finances for funding this adoption.  If you look at the right side of our blog, you see our fundraising thermometer.  The money "raised" includes both the amount of our own savings we have put into our fund (more than half of the money has come directly from us) and the amount that has been raised through fundraisers and donations.  You'll see that we are almost at $30,000, meaning we are only a little more than $5000 away from our goal!  This is amazing!  The family sponsorship program box that is above our thermometer shows the amount of money that is currently in our Reece's Rainbow account.  That $2000 is already counted in the thermometer, so it is not an "extra" $2000.

We still have some plans for raising the rest of the money needed.  We have one more main fundraiser coming up on October 11th - a local restaurant that saw our story in the paper and called us to say they wanted to do a benefit, and they are even doing all the planning!  Wow!  The generosity and big hearts of people continue to overwhelm us.  We are also planning one more garage sale the weekend of September 26th (our town is having citywide garage sales that weekend - this sale will be at our home) to try to sell the leftover things from our big garage sale in August.  We have LOTS of infant/toddler clothes, books, toys, and kids' games, as well as a few miscellaneous items, if you live locally and want to stop by.  Koins 4 Kellin is slowing down but our daughter is still receiving containers full of coins back occasionally.  This fundraiser takes the award (so far) for the most money raised in a single fundraiser - over $2100!  I never would have anticipated that this simple idea carried out by a nine-year-old would turn out to be the most successful - but it has!  I am so proud of my daughter.  We are hopefully doing a Pizza Ranch night in October (where we supply workers to help clear tables, and then we get a portion of sales/tips for the evening).  And I am still exploring ways to use the origami birds, bracelets, and intricate pictures made and generously given to us by a friend from church.

Overall, our fundraising is in good shape, and we feel confident that by continuing to work hard, we will be able to come up with the remaining money needed.  As always, donations are truly, sincerely appreciated!  We are coming as fast as we can, Kellin!

Questions

Over the past few months, I have had the opportunity to talk with many, many, many people about our adoption.  And for the most part, I truly enjoy being able to share our experiences with others and share information about the orphan situation in the world.  However, I am coming to realize that there is a series of fairly predictable questions that most people ask.  And even though the people are almost always wonderful, caring, well-meaning, and truly interested, the questions often feel painful.

By far the most commonly asked question:
When do you get him?  Um, we don't know.  Although we can try to guess when we will likely travel, we know that nothing is completely predictable in the adoption process.  Every day of waiting is hard, especially without a specific "due date" to look forward to.

The question that always surprises me a little:
How did you meet him?  We haven't.  In fact, most families involved in an international adoption do not meet their child(ren) before committing to them.  We haven't met our son, but we truly believe he is, in fact, our son.

The question that is perhaps the most painful, usually asked by someone who has discussed our adoption with us previously:
So how is he doing?  We don't know.  The only information we have is his file, which is 1 1/2 years old, and a very brief update provided by the orphanage in May.  The update included one picture, his measurements, and one paragraph of developmental information.  We have no way of getting regular updates on our son's health, well-being, likes/dislikes, and skills.  We have no way of knowing if he is happy or unhappy, if he gets to get out of his crib and play, if he eats solid food or just a bottle, if anyone is working with him to learn new skills despite his blindness.  It is very, very hard to have a child that you cannot see, talk to, hold, feed, comfort, or even hear about from someone else.  It is even harder when you know that your child is in an orphanage, not a loving foster home, and that because he is blind, it is likely that he does not have opportunities to play and learn with other children his age, or to gain independence with things like walking, talking, and feeding himself.

And then of course there is always this comment:
It's ridiculous that it takes so long/costs so much!  Yes, we agree.  But there's nothing we can do about it, so we have to work with it.  We will persevere no matter how long it takes.  We will continue to fundraise and save until we have the funds needed to complete this adoption.  At this point in time, this is just the way things are.

I understand that these are natural questions/comments that would occur to anyone who is unfamiliar with the adoption process.  I understand that people's intentions are never to hurt and are generally motivated by genuine interest and support.  But I miss my son.  And talking about his situation is sometimes hard.

Happy and Sad

We celebrated Kellin's birthday yesterday with a birthday supper and cake with a "3" candle on it.  We sang happy birthday.  I was happy - happy to celebrate Kellin's birth and his survival through orphanages and foster care over the past three years.  But through it all, I was sad too.  Sad that we were celebrating in comfort, with good food and cake, and Kellin was likely sitting in his crib.  Alone.  With no idea that it was his birthday.  And no idea that he has a family who loves him very, very much.  I was close to tears more than once yesterday.  Next year on August 29th, what a celebration it will be!

On a happier note, we learned yesterday that our dossier has been translated and is being reviewed.  One tiny step closer!

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dear Kellin,
Happy birthday to you!

We love you, Kellin, and wish we could celebrate your special day with you!

To our blog readers: one final plea to please consider donating $3 (or more) to our adoption fund in honor of this special day.  Thank you!

One more picture of Kellin that you may not have seen

Two Days Until Kellin Turns Three!

Day 16 of LOA wait!  That means we are, oh, maybe a fourth of the way (or perhaps a little bit more) through our wait for our acceptance from China.

I often tell my kids that they are my "favorite six-year-old" or the "best nine-year-old in the whole world," but since Kellin is currently two, the same age as Pooh (our youngest), I had made the comment to Pooh that he was the "best (insert his name) in the whole world."  Apparently, he gave this some thought and then informed me, "When Kellin turn three, you call me the best two-year-old."  His reasoning was impressive - and awfully cute!  :)

Kellin turns three in TWO DAYS!  Is there anyone out there who would still be willing to donate $3 in honor of this very important day in our son's life?  I still have MANY origami cranes and swans I would love to mail out to you as a thank you for sharing in Kellin's birthday celebration.  Just leave a comment (address or personal info will not be posted) or message me on Facebook. Thanks!

Sad Day Yesterday

We attend a wonderful church and have been members there for over 9 years.  We joined the church when our oldest was just a baby, which happened to be just after a new pastor had started there.  That pastor ended up becoming a good friend; she baptized all three of our children and has been one of our biggest supporters during this adoption process.  However, yesterday was her last day as our pastor.  She is moving on to a new calling, and while it was a beautiful service, it was very emotional, and many were in tears as she said farewell.  She will be greatly missed!  She told us that one of her regrets was that she will not be there to meet and baptize our new son when he arrives home with us.  And then she led the congregation in singing happy birthday to Kellin.  It was an overwhelmingly emotional moment.

Kellin's third birthday is now just four days away!  On Friday, he turns three years old - his last birthday without a family.  We are asking that you consider donating $3 to our adoption fund, in honor of his birthday.  Since I originally made this request, we have had two donations and would love to have a few more by Friday.  I truly feel that this gift goes beyond being just money; it is a celebration of our son's right to be alive, cherished, loved, and worthy.  We are celebrating his life!

We have many items left over from our garage sale, including tons of infant/toddler clothes for boys and girls in most sizes from 0-3 months up to 4T, many children's books and toys, a baby walker, an exersaucer, and many other miscellaneous items.  If you are local and would be interested in purchasing in any of these things, please let me know.  I'd be happy to share pictures of the items we have available.

Random Thoughts

Yesterday Tigger and Pooh decided to turn the closet in our spare bedroom into a cave and pretend they were bears.  Can't you just picture Kellin crawling in there with them?

We just spent the morning cleaning the house.  The kids are working hard on learning to do chores willingly and with a cheerful attitude.  Rabbit and Tigger each have their own chore list to complete on "cleaning morning" (usually Saturday), and they did a great job today of finishing their work without crying, whining, complaining, etc.  It also makes the job go MUCH faster!  Rabbit is amazing - she cleans the downstairs bathroom, sweeps some of the floors, vacuums stairs, and helps her brothers with their beds.  She is such a mature and helpful nine-year-old!  Pooh follows the other two around and helps with picking up toys and carrying the empty bags as Tigger works on emptying all the small garbages around the house. 

It is only six more days until Kellin's birthday.  Please consider donating $3 (or more) to our adoption fund.  Although it may seem silly to celebrate his birthday without him, we feel that this is an opportunity for us to celebrate Kellin's existence.  His BIRTHDAY - the day he was born (or the closest they could estimate - he was about three days old when found) is a day to celebrate!  Although August 29th, 2011 didn't seem to be a special day to us at the time, little did we know our precious son was born that day on the other side of the world!  Please help us to celebrate our little guy.  Our sponsorship page on Reece's Rainbow only needs $72.57 to get us to an even $2000 (that's 25 people donating $3).  Remember, if you donate, leave a comment here or message me on Facebook and I will mail you one of the origami swans or cranes (let me know if you have a preference of which bird and what color).  Six days - let's see if we can do it!

Mommy Moment and Birthday Wishes

A couple nights ago, I woke up to the sound of my six-year-old son crying in the bathroom.  I went to see what was wrong and discovered that he had woken up with that horrible heavy breathing, barky cough, croupy thing that makes it painful to breathe and cough (parents, you all know what I mean, right?).  So I turned on the shower and filled the bathroom with steam, and then he and I sat together on the floor breathing steam until his tears were gone and his breathing was easier.  He looked up at me and said, "I love you, Mommy."  Awww.  This was a mommy moment.  :)  But after I got him tucked back into bed (on the floor of our bedroom, since he still wasn't feeling great), all I could feel was sadness for Kellin.  Sadness that he probably doesn't have anyone to comfort him when he wakes up sick or scared, no one to hold him until he feels better.  And sadness for myself, that I can't do those things for him.  I can't wait to have those "mommy moments" with my new son!

Our precious Kellin turns three years old on August 29th.  Hopefully it will be his last birthday without a family!  Although we can't celebrate with him this year, we still want to celebrate him.  In honor of his birthday, we are asking if you would be willing to donate $3 (or more) to our adoption account.  Just follow the link at the top of our blog, or mail a check to RR (indicate on the check that it is for us).  Anyone who donates at least $3 - I will mail you one of these origami swans or cranes, made for us by a friend at church.  We have many of them in all different colors, so let me know your preference if you have one. Please comment below or send me a message on Facebook to let me know that you have donated so I can send you one.  Thanks!!

Origami crane

Origami swan

GARAGE SALE!!

Going to keep this short as I'm on my phone. The garage sale was a huge success! We had a pretty steady stream of people the whole time. At times it was insanely busy.

It ended up raising just shy of $2000!

A huge thanks to everyone that helped set up, run it, and take down. I would list but I'm sure I would forget somebody.

Truly another great example of what can happen when people pull together for a good cause!

Closer Yet Farther

Our funds raised continues to climb!

You may have noticed that our goal has also gone up.  When we started the process, all the information we found said $30000 was a realistic top end for the cost of an adoption.  As we are adding up our expenses so far with the recent estimates for travel costs in China, and other fees we know are still to come, we see this will be short.  Kathleen polled people online and found that the process is running closer to $35000.  We felt we needed to adjust our fundraising goal upwards especially given that now it is expected that 3 weeks will be required in China rather than 2.

We are not discouraged.  We still are confident that this amount is within our grasp as we continue to get so much support from so many people out there.

LID

We got word today that we are LID!  This means our dossier has been officially registered in China.  We can officially start counting the days to our Letter of Acceptance (LOA)!  Realistically, we can probably hope to receive this sometime in October, or possibly November.

Weird Feeling in the House

The house is feeling empty tonight.  I dropped off Rabbit at camp this afternoon.  This will be her first camp experience, and in fact, she has only been away from me a handful of nights in her whole life before.  We are fortunate to have found this camp, which is only for children with diabetes, and therefore there are many staff and they are all highly trained.  But it feels so strange not to have Rabbit around here.  Generally speaking, having a child with diabetes is not really that big of a deal.  Checking blood sugars and counting carbs are part of our routine around here and we hardly think about it most of the time.  However, when she's not here, all of a sudden I realize certain things.  For example, I made pizza for supper - half pepperoni and half cheese.  Only after it was done, I noticed that the pepperoni side was bigger than the cheese.  No big deal, right?  Just cut the pepperoni slices bigger than the cheese.  Only if Rabbit was here, I would have needed to make sure all the pieces were the same size, so they had the same number of carbs.  Or after I put Tigger and Pooh to bed and came downstairs, which is when I usually help Rabbit do her last blood sugar check before heading to bed, and she wasn't here.  It just feels weird.

DTC

For those of you who don't know what DTC stands for, it is DOSSIER TO CHINA!  In other words, our dossier (the thick packet of paperwork that includes every detail of our lives) is IN CHINA.  Today!  This also means we have been moved from the "Compiling Dossier" page on Reece's Rainbow to the "Almost There" page.  Although it will still be several months before we travel to pick up Kellin, this is another huge step forward.  At this point, we are waiting for China to issue our Letter of Acceptance (LOA), which will likely take 2-3 months.  After that, there is some more paperwork, and then travel comes 2-3 months after that.

I first saw Kellin's profile on April 14th so it has been less than 4 months since we started this process.  Although this seems like it's taken too long, we've actually managed to do this in a shorter-than-average time, thanks to all those who have been helping us along the way, especially our wonderful adoption agency and our Facebook community!

Our fundraising is coming amazingly well!  We are continually overwhelmed and blessed by all the people who are supporting us in our journey, including many we've never met.  Take a second to look at our thermometer.  That's right; we are only about $4000 from being fully funded!  This is of course according to our best estimate - but it is possible we will need a little more now that there is a good chance travel will include three weeks in-country instead of two.  It seems impossible that we have come so far in three months.

Our big garage sale fundraiser is coming up on August 15-16.  We have TONS of items, donated by many friends, co-workers, family, and church members!  If you are in the area, please come by; I'm pretty sure that everyone can find something that they "need."

This is a picture of Kellin at around 18 months of age.  This was taken shortly after he was moved from his foster care home back to the orphanage.  I think you can see the pain and confusion on his little face.  :(

Successful Book Sale!

This afternoon was our book sale fundraiser, put on by the bookstore that my sister and brother-in-law own.  Although there wasn't a huge turn-out, there was a steady stream of people, and we raised $425!  Thanks to my sister and brother-in-law for hosting this sale, and thanks to everyone who stopped by to support us!  We are $425 closer to BRINGING OUR SON HOME!!!!  We love you, Kellin!!

A very successful fundraiser!

The spread of pies available at the fundraiser today.  Thank you to
Legendary Bakery of Chaska for donating, they were delicious!

Those of you who are following along with our funds probably just noticed a huge jump in our funds.  Today was the fundraiser at our church.  We experienced so much support today, and it was amazing to see all the people come out in support of Kellin!  A big thank you to everyone who donated!  A bigger thank you to everyone who came out and volunteered. The BIGGEST thank you possible to Jan for putting the event on!!

With the donations from today, and once we receive the match from Thrivent Financial right around $2,000 was raised today for our adoption.  If you include the value of all the donated food, prizes and people's time, I'm sure the value of what was done today would just be astonishing!

Side note:  Rabbit had a fairly successful lemonade/cookie stand at
Paddlefish Days.  Thank you Monica for the cookies, they were
delicious, we got a lot of comments!

Join the Fun!

One last reminder to come to one of our fundraisers this weekend!

Lemonade/cookie stand in our front yard this morning!

Benefit (food, Bingo, kids' activities) at our church tomorrow 10AM-3PM!

Hope to see you there!

Mega-Fundraising!

We have several fundraisers coming up in the next few weeks!  Details:

1) Rabbit (remember, that is our nine-year-old) is having a lemonade/cookie stand this Saturday in our front yard.  It is our town's annual celebration this weekend, and we tend to get many people walking past our house.  A friend from church offered to make specially decorated sugar cookies!

2) Our BIG benefit at church is happening THIS SUNDAY!  It runs from 10AM-3PM and there will be food, Bingo, and kids' activities.  If you live locally, PLEASE stop by to support us!

3) On Saturday, August 2nd, we are having a book sale at Ferguson Books & More in Grand Forks, thanks to my sister and brother-in-law who own the bookstore and generously offered to do this for us. If you live near that area, please stop by between 11AM-3PM and check out the books!

4) On August 15th and 16th, we are having a HUGE garage sale at our church.  Many people have already donated items, and we are still accepting further donations.  So far we have collected clothes, toys, children's bikes, books, household objects, and many other miscellaneous items.  Come check it out!

We hope to see many of you stopping by at least one of our events.  We have high hopes that these next few weeks will be productive and will get us much closer to being funded for our adoption.  To inspire you, here is yet another adorable picture of our Kellin.

Kellin, about 16 months old, shortly before he was moved from his excellent foster care home back to his orphanage.

Winnie the Pooh

When we first started this blog, we felt that we didn't want to use our children's real names here, thinking that it would be a means to protect our children's privacy.  However, we have realized that it can be difficult to write certain blog posts without using names, so . . . time for nicknames!  In reference to our family's love of the Winnie the Pooh characters, we have assigned each of our children a nickname from the Pooh stories.  For the time being, we will continue to use the name "Kellin" for our newest son, since that is not his real name anyway.

"Rabbit" - our nine-year-old daughter who knows a lot about a lot of things and loves to be in charge!

"Tigger" - our very active, bouncy six-year-old son!

"Pooh" - our two-year-old son, who tends to move slowly and is very thoughtful, just like Pooh!

"Kellin" - our other two-year-old son (although almost three - birthday is coming!).  What is his personality like??  Can't wait to find out!

Passing the Time

It has been a very busy summer!  This is good because it helps pass the time while we wait for Kellin to come home.  It was so much better when we were actively putting together paperwork.  We knew the faster we got that done, the sooner he could come home.

There are still things that we need to do that will help get him home of course, like the fundraiser coming up a week from Sunday (on the 27th, see link at the top of the page).  But unfortunately, that will not help us get Kellin home any sooner.

Today the boys and I went out to the local parking lot to ride bikes.  The red tricycle is one that we found and thought about selling as part of the fundraiser, but I really liked it.  My sister gave us money instead so that we would keep it with the boys. Hopefully next summer we will be able to share a video with one of the boys driving and Kellin hanging on in the back! Of course, we should have him home long before next summer, but I think he has some skills to learn before riding shotgun on ta trike!

Unexpected

Apparently one of the provinces in Kellin's country has made a change to their procedures - requiring a longer wait for the adopted child's passport while in-country.  And lucky us, this happens to be the very province where Kellin lives.  This translates into potentially spending three weeks in China when we go to pick him up, rather than two weeks.  This may be a temporary, or permanent, or variable change; we really don't know the details yet.  We only know that a few families have gotten caught in this predicament lately.

What does this potentially mean for us?  It means more time in-country, which translates into more travel expenses (hotels and food).  It means finding someone (or several someones) to care for our three children at home for a longer period of time, and at this point, we don't know who will be taking on this responsibility for us, even for two weeks.  If any family members are interested in spending a week or two or three with our children while we travel (best guess maybe in 5-6 months - January?), let us know!  We know that this issue is further complicated by the fact that whoever is caring for our children will need to be knowledgeable about and comfortable with our oldest child's medical needs (diabetes).

These are not meant to be complaints.  Overall, we have been incredibly blessed over the last three months, by a smooth process (so far) and overwhelming support from family and friends.  We knew going into this adoption process that there are always hiccups and this is a minor one compared to the obstacles others have encountered.

I admit, the thought of being away from my children for two weeks bothers me, and the thought of being away for three weeks bothers me even more.  But I know that our children here at home will be warm, safe, and well-fed.  They will be talked with, played with, listened to, and tucked into bed.  Right now, we have no assurances that Kellin has anyone who does those things for him.  During those 2-3 weeks, we will be able to devote our time and energy to Kellin, getting to know him, and loving him lots.  I know that as hard as it will be, it will be SO WORTH IT in the end.  Oh, and one positive to note - even if the time in-country is extended, we will still get Kellin within the first day or two after arriving, so he will be with us the whole trip.  I don't think I could stand being in his country and NOT being able to see him!

As always, prayers for us, our family, and especially for Kellin's safety and health are very much appreciated!!

Fundraisers!

Our fundraiser scheduled for July 27th is coming together amazingly well!  Remember this is benefit that we not actually planning ourselves; a friend from church volunteered to coordinate the whole thing.    And she is AMAZING!  Not to mention the incredible support we have received from the rest of our church family.  Someone is donating all of the meat (hot dogs and brats) for the meal, another family is donating coleslaw, and a friend of a friend has offered to donate 45 pies for the event!  Wow!  The benefit takes place on Sunday, July 27th from 10-3 at Epiphany Lutheran Church in Eagle Lake.  If you live locally, please consider coming to support us!

In addition, we are planning a huge garage sale to be held at our church on August 15-16.  We have received so many donations of items to sell, and people are still dropping off more.  It should be a great event - plan to come by if you are in the area!

As far as the adoption process itself - our documents are in the process of being notarized, certified, authenticated before being sent to China.  Hopefully all paperwork will be ready to go by the end of the month.

And just for fun, another picture of baby Kellin:

Big News!

I received an email today saying that our USCIS application had been approved and the approval would go in the mail today!  For those that may not be familiar with the adoption process, this is VERY fast approval, thanks to a sympathetic officer who generously processed our paperwork quickly.  This means that our dossier will be on its way to China (hopefully) within 2-3 weeks.  Then we wait to be approved by China!

In celebration of this occasion, I thought you might enjoy seeing a different picture of Kellin.  While we only have one recent picture of him (the picture on the right side of our blog), we do have several pictures of him when he was younger.  We believe this picture was taken when Kellin was about 9 months old, when he first entered foster care.  This is the youngest picture we have.  Wasn't he ADORABLE?

Orphan Situation

Imagine this scenario:

A married middle-class couple in the United States is expecting their first baby.  They are joyfully anticipating this addition to their family; they have decorated the nursery and chosen a name.  On the big day, their baby boy is born, but to the couple's surprise, they are informed by the doctor that their baby was born "different" - for the purposes of this scenario, let's say he has a relatively "minor" special need - a missing foot.  The couple is devastated.  They grieve.  They worry about their precious son's future.  The doctor gives them referrals - to medical specialists, therapists, early intervention services, and support groups.  These parents take advantage of the many services available to them and their son and pretty soon they realize that this is not such a big deal.  In most ways, their son grows and develops typically; after a while, he is fitted with a prosthetic leg, and grows into a perfectly independent and successful adult.

Now imagine this same married middle-class couple in another country in this world, joyfully planning for this first child.  The baby is born and is quickly taken out of the room.  The doctor comes to them and informs them that their baby is "different" - he is missing a foot.  The doctor tells them that their baby will never be able to care for himself or attend school.  He recommends that they do not take their baby home and instead place him in an orphanage where he can be properly cared for.  The couple has a devastating decision to make.  They love their son.  But they feel the weight of their culture and society pressuring them to follow the doctor's advice.  After all, they did not see children with disabilities in their schools when they were children.  They have never seen an independent, successful adult with a disability.  They know that their son may not be allowed to attend school.  They may not be able to find a doctor willing to provide medical care to their son.  So they leave him at the hospital, believing they are making the right decision.  The baby boy is placed in an orphanage.  At first, he cries often, until he learns that crying does not bring anyone to care for him, and then he becomes silent.  He is fed on a schedule, diapers changed on a schedule.  Because of his special need, the orphanage staff believe that he is not capable of learning to crawl and walk, and so they leave him in his crib most of the time.  They continue to feed him with bottles even as he grows into a toddler, because it is easier than moving him to a table.  By age three, the little boy is not yet crawling, talking, feeding himself, or toilet-trained.  The staff decide that he must have low intelligence and they continue to deny him opportunities to explore and learn.  At age five, he is transferred to a mental institution where he continues to be treated as a child who is incapable of learning or caring for himself.  He never attends school.  Although he may eventually learn to speak a little and move around his environment, he develops into an adult that is who everyone believed him to be - incapable of independence and appearing to be of low intelligence.

These two scenarios begin with the same couple and the same child, but they have drastically different outcomes.  Is the second scenario extreme?  Yes.  Does it accurately describe the fate of every orphan with special needs?  No, of course not.  Some orphans are cared for in foster homes, by trained caregivers; they are given therapy and education.  But unfortunately, many orphans with special needs do end up in a similar situation to this second scenario.  There are SO MANY orphans with unrealized potential and uncertain futures!

Here is one child who desperately needs a family to help him realize his full potential!  This is NOT our Kellin (for those that may be confused about what I am doing here), but he is a child like our Kellin, a child born with a disability that should not have to limit his opportunities and future, but unfortunately it does in his current situation.  Anyone interested in adopting this sweet little guy? :)

This is Dexter.  He is three years old and his special need is that his  hands are different - missing a finger on one hand and missing the radius in the other.  However, even though this is his only reported special need, he is not yet walking.  And look how skinny and sad he looks here!  More information about adopting Dexter can be found at: http://adoptablewaitingchild.com/portfolio/dexter/