So Much to Share

We have had a great week around here! After his crazy-fussy weekend, Kellin suddenly turned into a much happier kid. Don't get me wrong, he still fusses and whines plenty, but somehow he just seems more settled and happier overall. Maybe he has finally adjusted to his new routine, maybe he even let go of some trauma from his past - whatever it is, we'll take it!

We've noticed that Kellin is much more confident in public lately. We went to a fall/harvest-type festival last weekend, and a science museum yesterday (pictures below), and Kellin chose to WALK around (some) at both places! He doesn't seem nearly as overwhelmed by crowds and noise as he used to be. Huge step forward!

Kellin's language is still inching forward. He is regularly adding new signs to his vocabulary AND maybe starting to verbalize a bit. A few days ago, he definitely said, "All done, all done" when he finished eating (however, he has not done this again) and this morning, I thought maybe he was trying to copy a couple of the words I said.

Kellin is becoming a rock star with those "put in" tasks I started working on all those months ago. He puts shapes into the bucket and plastic coins into his treasure chest toy pretty easily. I think it might be time to up the challenge - maybe he could start to put the shapes into the correct holes on the shape sorter? (Up until now, I just took the lid off and all he had to do was drop them in.)

Kellin climbs up onto the couch and ottoman, and onto our laps, by himself. He is getting much better about climbing in and out of his booster chair for mealtimes. Sometimes he walks down the stairs without holding our hands (he puts both hands on the wall instead).

On a few occasions, Kellin has taken a BITE off of a cracker. This is a HUGE first for him! The eating progress continues to be slow but steady.

I am going to put in some pictures here, but please continue reading to the end, as this post ends with me going into my "advocacy" mode and I really want you to see a couple of very sweet waiting boys. :-)

Fall Festival:

Peek-a-boo!

Rabbit and Pooh

It was a VERY windy day!

Train ride!

Best one of all four of them - not bad!

So much fun on the train!

Trying out the bike course.

Look how calm he is. :-)

Did I mention it was windy? Look at his hair!!

Science Museum:

Making giant bubbles

Light-up wall!

And more light!

I love the look of wonder on her face.

Pull hard!

Best way to look through a microscope - with your cheeks.

Touching fossils

Pooh too

That's a big astronaut!

Working hard

Kellin wanted to try too

And . . . happy in the light!

And random pictures:

These three worked with Daddy to build a Lego Millennium Falcon!

Goofy glasses from the science museum

Kellin loves to stand up on the windowsill and look out at the sunlight. Don't worry, Rabbit is right behind him.

Happy boy!

Kellin climbed up on the couch all by himself!

We thought maybe this could be Kellin's Halloween costume, but he did NOT like the hat!

Shouldn't all children have the opportunity to have these kinds of experiences? Even if they are orphans? Even if they have special needs? Even if they live halfway around the world?

Meet Shepard.

http://reecesrainbow.org/99191/shepard-2

Shepard has a sad story. He is two years old, has a resolved heart condition, and has vision issues. It is not known exactly how much he can see. His adoption was recently disrupted in-country. What that means is that his family traveled to China to adopt him, spent 24 hours with him, and then changed their minds and left without him. The reasons given were that it seemed that his vision appeared to be poorer than they were led to believe, and that he exhibited some autism-like behaviors. I saw a video of this little guy, made during those 24 hours his family spent with him. I can tell you that Shepard has WAY more skills at two years old than Kellin did at his Gotcha Day at age 3 1/2 (and look how far we've come!). I saw Shepard walking, eating, touching toys, and cuddling. He looked incredibly sweet. It is possible (but certainly not guaranteed) that those autism-like behaviors are simply institutional behaviors that are very typical for orphans, especially those with visual impairments. So Shepard once again waits. I hope and pray another family steps forward for him soon.

The other little guy here is someone I have featured before. This is Robbie. Isn't he handsome?

Robbie is perhaps the most special waiting child to me because I had the great privilege of meeting him when I was in China picking up Kellin in January. I felt an instant connection to this little bundle of energy, who grabbed my hands and chattered away. The staff told me he had a family coming for him. I thought of him often over the next months, wondering how he was doing and if his family had come yet. It hit me hard to learn this summer that his family was unable to complete his adoption. And the facts are that Robbie is five years old (an "older" boy) and he is visually impaired (for some reason, one of the least chosen special needs by adopting families), which means that his chances of finding a family are realistically not too good. However, I HAVE to believe that there is a family out there for him! My impressions of Robbie were that he was bright, talkative, social, and active. Robbie lives at Bethel, an amazing foster care program for visually impaired children. He receives good care and good education. However, in China, this only guarantees him a good "right now," not necessarily a good future. His visual impairment and orphan status are difficult obstacles to overcome in China. I desperately want this little boy to know the love and care of a family. I believe he would bring so much joy! I felt the joy radiating from him just in the few minutes I was lucky enough to spend with him!

Long Overdue Update

I know it's been WAY too long since I updated! The last few weeks have been a whirlwind as we settle back into our school year routine. Kellin has been in daycare for five weeks now, and in preschool for three. This has been a tough transition for him. It's clear that he has been very stressed by all the changes, new places, new people, and uncertain expectations. He expresses this mostly by fussing/whining/crying, which, when he gets into one of his moods, he can do pretty much for hours at a time, with nothing we can really do to comfort him. It's been frustrating. Last weekend, he literally cried ALL WEEKEND. For two days straight. And nothing worked to comfort him for very long. It was very stressful and frustrating for all of us. And yet, on his good days, he can go most of the day without fussing much, and we'll see lots of smiles. There doesn't seem to be much of a pattern yet - he has done this at school, daycare, and home. Maybe it's just when the stress builds to a level that he can't cope with anymore. In any case, we certainly hope he can adjust to his new schedule soon!

In terms of attachment during all this change, a few things have become clear. One, Kellin is strongly and solidly attached to Daddy. He reaches for Daddy, smiles for Daddy, gets excited when he hears his voice, prefers Daddy over all others. I believe that Kellin's attachment to me is weaker. Some days, he seems reluctant to let me leave him at daycare or school; other days he practically dives out of my arms to get to his daycare provider or teacher. He seems either indifferent or sometimes a little bit happy when I pick him up, but it's certainly not the dramatic reaction he has when Daddy appears. Sometimes this bothers me; other times I realize that it's natural, and that Kellin and I are still working toward a bond. I have heard many families say that their children bonded with Daddy first, because before adoption all caregivers were female and therefore the child may connect a female person with their previous unpredictable care. I am confident that we will eventually get there.

What about progress in other areas? Kellin's progress in many ways seems to have plateaued lately, probably because of all the emotions and changes he is dealing with, but we have noticed a few steps forward. The most exciting one is that his "language" seems to be growing. He has learned a few new signs, including waving bye-bye, and his babbling has really increased. It often seems like he says his big sister's name, and he is saying "mama" quite a bit more than he used to, but as always, I'm still not sure if he is connecting that to me. He is "singing" more too - babbling in a singsong way or humming. We are still hoping for that communication breakthrough!

Another bit of progress is that Kellin is chewing more food. We can give him regular crackers now, as long as we break them up into bite-sized pieces (he still can't or won't bite a piece off of food). He will only chew crunchy things like this, though, nothing that is mushier like bread. However, every small step forward is good, and I know we will get to the point where he is eating just as a child his age should be. He also seems to be (sometimes) showing that he WANTS to eat, and we think he is starting to understand the sensation of being hungry. Yes!

I hope that once Kellin really settles in to his new schedule, we will start to see more progress, now that he is attending preschool and receiving services from all kinds of therapists and teachers every week. Maybe my next update will have more exciting news to share!

Pictures!

I left Kellin over by his rocker (on the left) and came back to find him headed up the stairs. He had never gone up the stairs by himself before! When I got there, he was trying to figure out that laundry basket, which he knew wasn't supposed to be in his way. I also discovered he needed a diaper change, which made me wonder if he was trying to head upstairs to his bedroom where we usually change him?

Handsome little man!

Hanging with big sister!

These two sure have fun together!

Angel Tree

The very first time we saw Kellin's picture and profile, it was on the Reece's Rainbow website. Reece's Rainbow is an advocacy and fundraising website that lists profiles of waiting children around the world, provides a way for adopting families to fundraise, and hosts a number of events designed to increase awareness of and funds for these waiting children.

One of their biggest fundraisers each year is Angel Tree. Reece's Rainbow selects some of their waiting children to be listed on the year's Angel Tree. They ask that "Christmas Warriors" choose a child to commit to advocating and fundraising for during the months of November and December. The goal is to raise $1000 for each of these children; however, this is only a goal and any amount of money raised is welcomed. You do not have to commit any of your own money - you just have to be willing to spread the word about your Angel Tree child, host fundraisers, ask for donations, sell something and donate the profits, etc.

There are many families out there who want to adopt. Many of them say that their biggest hesitation is financial - finding the $30,000+ needed to bring just one of these precious children home. Children with larger adoption grants are more likely to be chosen. It is heartbreaking that money can be the biggest obstacle keeping a child from being brought home to join a loving family. A lack of money can keep a child in an institution.

Two years ago, our family chose a sweet baby named "Olen," who was just about six months old at the time, as our Angel Tree child. We asked for donations instead of Christmas gifts. Rabbit made Christmas ornaments and sold them. Relatives donated certain profits from their businesses. We raised well over $1000 for Olen!

Last year, we were nearing the end of our own adoption process for Kellin, so we chose not to be Christmas Warriors. But this year, we are jumping back in! Sign-ups for Angel Tree opened two days ago, and Rabbit and I looked through the children and chose a child to advocate for this year. A specific announcement about who that child is will be coming up in another blog post.

I write all of this to encourage you to consider choosing an Angel Tree child. There are still many more children waiting for Christmas Warriors. All it takes is the willingness to spread the word. You will find yourself a part of something awe-inspiring! Without Reece's Rainbow, we may not have found Kellin, so we believe strongly in advocacy for these waiting children. Go check out this link to see all the children who need Christmas Warriors http://reecesrainbow.org/christmaswarriorprogram. PLEASE consider signing up!

First Days of School!

Rabbit, Tigger, and Kellin all started school during the past week! Rabbit is now in fifth grade - her last year of elementary school. Most of the time, I just can't believe she is THAT OLD! She is so mature and responsible, and so much fun to be around. And she is nearly as tall as I am!

Tigger is in second grade this year, and I can't believe he is that old either. He likes school, but as a very active kid, sometimes he comes home completely wound up from sitting all day.

And Kellin! He is the teeny tiniest four-year-old in his preschool class! He is attending a small preschool class for children with special needs, and his classroom is right next door to mine (I teach preschoolers with special needs). This means that not only do I get to see him occasionally at school and get frequent updates from his teachers, but I also personally know and trust all of the teachers and therapists that work with him. It's an amazing blessing!

Kellin has been dealing with a lot of change and many transitions over the past two weeks. He started daycare, then school, and today rode the bus from school to daycare for the first time. And overall, he is doing amazingly well! He is more tired, and maybe more clingy, and he has been getting anxious when we get into the car (I think because he always thinks we are dropping him off at daycare), but I think these reactions are natural, and hopefully we will work through them.

New skills: Although I never would have thought he was ready, he decided a few days ago to try stepping up the stairs with alternating feet (meaning one foot on each step and then stepping up to the next, rather than putting both feet on each step). He doesn't do it every time, but sometimes - and I am amazed that he even thought of trying that! After all, I have never shown him that, and he has never seen anyone else do it . . . but somehow is must have occurred to him that it would be a more efficient way to get up the stairs! He also seems to have said "bye-bye" twice - both times, he waved his hand twice and said "ah-ah" along with it - and it was during a time when we were saying good-bye to someone. He is getting better at climbing up into his chair for eating, and at climbing up and down from the couch. The other day, Kellin was sitting on the floor, and I told him it was time to change his diaper, and he promptly stood up and pulled his shorts down without any prompting from me. I was impressed!

I realize that all this "back-to-school" fuss leaves out Pooh because he will not attend preschool until next year. He is doing a great job at his new daycare and continues to make us laugh with the things he says. Yesterday he and Kellin went with Daddy to cross-country practice (Daddy is a coach) and Pooh came home and informed me, "We went with Daddy and we did exercises, except I didn't and Kellin didn't." Oh, this kid.

And as usual - fun pictures!

Rabbit and Tigger ran a kids' race to support the camp that Rabbit attends each summer, a camp for kids with Type 1 diabetes (an amazing place, because realistically she really couldn't safely attend a regular camp)

Kellin enjoying one of his favorite things - sunlight!

Dinosaur bones!

At a nearby zoo - a pretty good picture of the four of them!

Kellin chose to WALK for a little ways at the zoo. He is walking around quite a bit at home, but he still usually prefers to be carried in public places.

Handsome little man!

One Week Down

This past Monday marked the end of summer in our household, meaning that Eric and I went back to work (as we are both teachers) and our children went back to daycare full-time. This is routine for Rabbit, Tigger, and Pooh, but a huge transition for Kellin. Since he came home in January, he had never been left with anyone other than Mommy or Daddy up until just a couple weeks ago. I am happy to report that everything seemed to go very smoothly for him at his new daycare.

It was very difficult to find a daycare for Kellin. I started calling places back in May, looking for two openings (because we wanted to keep Kellin and Pooh somewhere together) and for someone who was willing to take on Kellin's special needs. This proved to be quite the challenge. Some places just didn't have two openings, and other places were honest and said that they didn't feel they could provide the attention and care that Kellin needs. The daycare search was exhausting and frustrating, to say the least. In light of this week's success, I am hopeful that the daycare we eventually found will be a good fit for both of our little boys.

Because this has been the first time we've really "tested" Kellin's attachment to us, I was nervous about how that would go, but it seems that Kellin was showing some very appropriate signs of attachment! He fusses a little when I tell him we are going to daycare and a little bit when I leave, and he is happy to see me when I come back - so I know he misses us and would prefer to be with us, but he also does well with the daycare provider and allows her to help him and comfort him. In another week, Kellin will start preschool in the mornings, followed by a bus ride to daycare, so he will have more transitions to manage.

In terms of new skills - Kellin has figure out how to put things "in!" I know, it doesn't sound like a big deal, but earlier in the summer, I tried over and over and over to get Kellin to put shapes into his shape sorter (not into the right holes, just into the bucket), and he cried every time and didn't seem to get it AT ALL. After a while, I gave up, figuring it wasn't that important and he didn't seem to be ready. A couple weeks ago, I tried again - and discovered that not only can he put shapes into the bucket, but he can also use this toy that involves putting coins into a slot to make music play, which is of course much more difficult than just dropping a shape into a bucket. He still needs a little help getting the coin turned the right way, but he totally has the idea. Something must have just clicked in his little mind (although he still fusses about it sometimes).

Kellin has finally figured out that when I say "set it down" (referring to his spoon while eating), he needs to set it back down into his bowl. So now he can bring the spoon from the bowl to his mouth, put it into his mouth, and bring the spoon back down to the bowl (if he feels like it, of course). He still needs help scooping the food onto his spoon.

Kellin continues to show that he understands more and more language all the time. Now he is understanding "step up" (he will lift his foot) and "step down" (he inches his toes forward to find the edge of the step). Still no words though.  :-(

Kellin's awareness of getting around our house is increasing too. He seems to know his way around the rooms where he spends most of his time, although I'm not sure he really knows about the basement and a couple of other rooms he rarely goes into.

Let's finish with some fun pictures! And yes, I know that there are many more of some of the kids than others - just depends on what I've taken on my phone recently!

We went to a local Renaissance festival and Pooh decided he was a knight!

Daddy, Pooh, and Tigger on a CAMEL!

We visited Kellin's new school and Pooh found a fun helmet to try on.

LOVE this toothless grin!

Grandma and Grandpa skyping with Kellin on his birthday

These two love each other so much! Maybe you can't tell - but behind that remote, Kellin has a huge grin!

Rabbit, Tigger, and Pooh came up with the idea of filling plastic eggs with different materials and putting them into an empty egg carton as a gift for Kellin for his birthday - and he really likes them, especially the one with coins inside!

After years of watching Rabbit do gymnastics, Pooh asked if he could try!

Pooh and Kellin asleep in the car. Yes, Kellin is under that blanket - he does this often.

Did you know this is how you eat an ice cream cone? All the way down one side until the ice cream starts to drip out . . . 

At the Renaissance festival - Rabbit got this fancy medieval braid!