Control

For most of his life, Kellin has had very little control over anything. During his time at the orphanage, he couldn't get out of his crib to explore, so he had no control over where he spent his time. He was handed a bottle a few times a day (not seeing where it came from or who was giving it to him), so he had no control over what and when he ate. Most of the time, we believe he did not have anything in his crib to play with, so he had nothing to pick up, shake, move around, put in his mouth, etc. No one listened to his attempts to communicate, so he had no way of telling others what he wanted or needed, or of interacting with others at all. He went from his biological mother, to an orphanage, to a foster home, back to the orphanage, and then to our family. He had no control over any of these moves.

The result of all this lack of control is that, at adoption, Kellin had no idea that anything he did could have any effect on his world. He had no concept of a world that he was allowed to explore, a world where his cries and smiles changed what happened next. As I've said before, he was incredibly passive about everything - he would just sit or lay and wait for whatever happened next. If he was unhappy or needed something, he would whine or fuss but never make any attempt to get anything for himself or communicate in any other way. He had no idea that problems could be solved, and more importantly, that he could try to solve them himself!

This has been a persistent issue with Kellin. Up until just recently, he was very unmotivated to anything for himself, and in many ways, he still is. BUT . . . recently we've seen that he is starting to move around more and more, and he will try and solve simple problems himself:

If he wants something or someone that he can hear but not touch, he walks to find it (or them).

He is exploring his world more, sometimes walking around just to see what he can find (mainly just in the living room and the boys' bedroom).

When his arm got stuck inside his shirt sleeve while putting it on, he used his other hand to pull it down (instead of sitting there and fussing).

When I put a toy inside a bag, he used one hand to work on pulling it out and the other hand to hold the bag in place.

He is using more signs without using our hands.

He is starting to sign "Mama" and seems to have figured out that if he signs it, I might pick him up rather than making him walk. :-)

When he is walking and finds something in his way, sometimes he tries to go around it, and sometimes he even succeeds.

He knows where the landing is when going up and down the steps, and he knows how to turn when he gets there.

If he gets bored with a toy, he moves around to find something else.

He is making more sounds, and they seem more purposeful, like he is trying to communicate. He is making noises that seem to be his attempts to sing along with songs.

These are little things, but to us, they indicate that Kellin is starting to think for himself, which will really help him learn!



Kellin seems to be making some good strides in terms of sensory/security issues as well. For example, he used to HATE food on his face and constantly wiped his face on his sleeve while eating. Now when his face is messy, he'll often just ignore it.

Kellin after breakfast this morning

Kellin used to be scared of any sort of rough play, such as bouncing him (I think because he didn't feel safe). Now he loves to play bouncing games and this morning I was pretending to "drop" him (basically I was holding him and would let go for just a second before grabbing him again) and he thought it was so funny! No fear at all! This is so sweet because I really felt like he was trusting that I would keep him safe.


And just for fun:

Tigger, our resident monkey