One Year Home - How is Kellin Doing?

Medical

Kellin is healthy! He’s had several doctor appointments over this past year, along with a number of tests, and has no significant medical issues other than his microphthalmia (small eyes). He also has a mild issue with his hips in that the bones are not quite in the sockets where they belong and he is being monitored for that; however, his doctor feels that it is not a concern that needs to be addressed at this time. Kellin is still somewhat underweight, at just 24 ½ pounds. He has gained about 5 pounds since coming home one year ago and is still below the growth charts. However, he IS gaining weight, and for now, we will have to be content with that. I will share more about the ongoing eating issues below. Kellin has had some colds – runny noses and coughs – but no major illnesses since coming home. He’s also had a couple fevers, but both times they lasted less than a day. In other words, he is amazingly healthy, even healthier than our other kids!

Eating

Kellin has made a lot of progress with his eating. He will pick up, bite, and chew just about any food that is dry and crunchy. His favorites are Cheetos, veggie straws, cereal, and peanut butter crackers. He likes muffins but will not touch them with his fingers or put them in his own mouth. As far as spoon-feeding, he eats oatmeal, yogurt, applesauce and sometimes other foods like scrambled eggs, noodles, soup, and rice but still needs help scooping those foods onto his spoon before he puts them in his mouth. He still struggles a lot with chewing foods that are not dry and crunchy, and often pockets them in his cheek and holds them there for a long time (sometimes until we scoop it back out of his mouth or push it toward his throat for him). He still gags easily and throws up maybe once a week or so. The toughest part of working on the eating issues is that Kellin still does not completely agree that food is a good thing. He does enjoy those few favorite foods but fusses during many meals. Overall, he still eats very little. A typical day would be oatmeal (made with yogurt, pediasure, half and half) for breakfast, along with maybe a few crackers and some orange juice; a container of high-calorie yogurt along with some crackers and orange juice for lunch; crackers and maybe a pureed food pouch along with orange juice for snack; and a pureed food (scrambled eggs, noodles, rice, baby food) along with crackers and orange juice for supper. You’ll notice that he pretty much only drinks orange juice. He will also drink water but of course water has no calories, plus he thinks it’s pretty funny to take a drink and then spit it down his front (he doesn’t do this with orange juice). He will not drink milk. Overall, he has come so far in this year, given that he came home drinking only formula from bottles.

Sleeping

When Kellin came home, he was an awful sleeper. He was up all night, stimming, crying, and giggling in his crib, and not wanting to be held or touched. And then he was exhausted all day and wanted to take 4-hour naps, which if we let him, meant of course he wouldn’t sleep that night again. Over time, though, he figured out this sleep thing. A turning point was when we stopped letting him nap in his crib and instead put him in the living room, with all the household noise around him.  So he stopped taking long naps and instead started sleeping more at night. Now I can say that Kellin is a great sleeper. He almost always sleeps through the night; in fact, he gets up much less often than our other four-year-old.

Dressing

A year ago, Kellin laid limp on the floor when being dressed like a young baby. He did not have the balance to stand while pulling pants up or down, or even sit up while his shirt was put on. But now – now he nearly dresses himself! For pants, he sits on the floor and pulls them onto his legs (with help getting his feet started) and then stands up to pull them up (with a little help pulling them over his diaper in the back). For shirts, I hand them to him the right way and he pulls them over his head and works to push his arms through. I usually put my hands around his waist to help him balance while he works to find the armholes. One thing I’ve noticed is that he used to not even notice if he accidentally put his arm through the neck hole; now he will pull his arm back out and try again. And once his arms are through, he pulls his shirt down. We still do his socks and shoes for him, but he helps put on his coat by pushing his arms through, and he will pull the zipper up and down (once it is threaded for pulling up). He is awesome at getting his hat and mittens off – because he HATES them!

Toileting

Guess who is starting to use the potty?? We bought Kellin a musical potty, so it plays music when it gets wet. And during the last week, he has peed in the potty 1-2 times each day. Potty-training, here we come!! Story for you – the other evening we were waiting at the gymnastics school while Rabbit and Pooh did their classes. I could tell that Kellin was about to poop, so I took him into the bathroom and held him on the toilet. He sat there happily for a while but then signed all done, so I took him down. The instant I stood him up and started to put on his new diaper, he pooped, explosively, ALL OVER. The floor, the diaper, his pants, even the toilet – it was EVERYWHERE. Lucky me, I got to clean their bathroom for them – with baby wipes. NOT my finest parenting moment, but kind of funny to think about now. At least I learned that Kellin can indeed control his poop (he has always preferred to poop standing up).

School and Daycare

Back in September, Kellin started preschool four mornings a week, and daycare during the afternoons and all day Friday. The first couple months were rough. Kellin cried and fussed on and off all day at school and daycare, and then ALL evening. But now that he has adjusted, he is doing fantastic! He works hard at school and is participating in lots of different activities. He likes his teachers and daycare provider and is mostly happy and cooperative for them.

Movement

A year ago, Kellin could not sit, crawl, or stand unsupported. He hated being on his tummy and only wanted to lay on his side. Now he walks independently (in familiar places), walks up and down the stairs, climbs up onto furniture and back down, is starting to walk with a pusher (a pre-cane), and uses a small slide (climbs up the ladder and sits down).

Cognitive

This area is hard to explain, especially since Kellin still does not speak (more about that below). However, we see many indications that there is a lot going on his Kellin’s head. He knows exactly where the windows in our house are and will walk to them, even if it’s not light outside. He even knows where the windows are not supposed to be. One day I held a flashlight near his face on the side opposite the window. He looked at the flashlight, and then turned his head the other way to look for the window, and then back to the flashlight. It was clear he was thinking that there shouldn’t be a light there!

He knows where the heating vents are and loves to curl up in front of them. He knows where his favorite toys are. Although he still enjoys using his cube toy sometimes (the reigning favorite for so many months), his new favorite toy is this keyboard.

Now do you see how many little buttons it has? Kellin has a favorite setting, so we put a bumpy sticker on that particular button, and Kellin will take his two hands and start at either end of the row of buttons until they meet on the bumpy one, and then push it. I find this amazing!

Kellin touches Braille in books as they are read. He searches for things he wants – if he has dropped them or if he can hear them. He knows which hand to put out first when singing the “Hokey Pokey.” He can keep the beat of many songs. He loves to pound on things to explore what they sound like. He explores all kinds of new things by touching, tasting, or pounding.

Communication

Kellin does not speak. He occasionally says something that sounds like a word but doesn’t repeat it. However, he is using several signs (some completely independently and some by moving our hands) – please, all done, blankie, dada, mama, window, water, bye-bye, up, swing, drink, eat, potty, on, and different motions he uses to request certain songs. We are also working on many more signs, hoping to give him a voice. He also understands many, many things. He follows lots of simple directions and reacts appropriately to many comments. He knows the names for many toys, objects, activities, and foods. He does the actions to quite a few songs. He understands “first/then,” meaning that if I say he has to do one thing before he can do what he wants to do, he will often do it.

Attachment

Kellin is without a doubt solidly attached to his daddy. He reaches for Daddy, prefers him above all others, and cries when he needs to leave Daddy. As far as Mommy – I think Kellin is attached to me, but it’s not as strong as his bond with Daddy. Kellin does sometimes fuss a little when I leave him at school or daycare, and he often smiles when I arrive to pick him up. However, when I see him during school (he attends in the building where I work) and say hello to him, he often doesn’t react. Also, if anyone else approaches him while he’s near me or even if I’m holding him, he will sometimes reach out to them to try and get them to pick him up. He doesn’t get upset when I tell him he is staying with Mommy, though. He loves to cuddle but will be just as content to cuddle with his teachers or daycare provider as with me. So . . . attachment is coming but I’m not sure we’re all the way there yet, at least with me. It’s hard to judge sometimes because of course there is no eye contact or language.

Orphanage Behavior

When Kellin arrived home, he had spent the last two years in a crib, alone, without toys or anything else. So all he wanted to do was lay on the floor, preferably on his right side, and use one hand to poke his eye and the other hand to flick his lips up and down while spitting. It was nearly impossible to get him to stop this during those first few weeks. Now? He still does these things but much less often, and he stops when told, at least briefly. He has toys that he likes to play with instead of just with spit.

He still loves his crib. It’s his safe, familiar place. When it’s time to go to bed at night, he gets a big smile on his face, and if he wakes during the night, it’s usually better NOT to pick him up because that tends to make him more upset. However, the positive is that when I go to get him out of his crib in the morning, I usually get a big smile and he is eager to get up.

Kellin still startles easily. If he hears a loud noise or another child crying, he tenses up and puts his arms up near his ears. If he is scolded, he kind of cowers – hunches down and gets very still. He DOES NOT like being held tightly or in any way restrained. We assume that these behaviors are the result of past experiences.

When he arrived home, he was unbelievably passive. To the point that he never tried to do anything for himself. He would never go get anything, and if someone took something from him, he just accepted it without reacting. He would fuss or whine when he wanted something or didn’t like something, but he never tried to do anything about it – just waited for someone to fix it. Now Kellin is really starting to assert himself. He walks to the windows to look out, he walks to the sink and tries to climb up so he can play in the water, he walks to his keyboard and bangs on it to tell someone he wants it turned on, he lets us know (with a good angry cry) when he is not happy about having to be done playing or to leave Daddy. He has very much grown from a passive baby to an assertive toddler.

Favorites

Kellin has lots of likes and dislikes now! He likes cuddling, playing in water, music, swinging, toys that play music when you push buttons, his blankie, looking out windows, being outside (especially if it is sunny, rainy, or windy – so pretty much all the time), singing his favorite songs, and dancing with Daddy.

Social

Kellin is starting to be more aware of other kids but still not too much. He loves his big sister and he is starting to touch and hug his brothers sometimes. At daycare, there is another toddler who likes to come up and hug him, and he is starting to hug back. Kellin hates when other kids are crying and will cover his ears. If someone takes a toy from him, he will reach to take it back.

And . . . pictures!!