Kellin Turns FOUR!

Today we celebrate Kellin's fourth birthday! Of course, we have no way of knowing if this is really Kellin's "birth" day because he was abandoned with no identifying information. But since he was abandoned as a very young baby, it is likely that today is very close to his actual birthday, if not exactly right. But really, does it matter? Whether or not today is Kellin's "real" birthday, it is the day that will be celebrated from now on, the day we will honor his existence.

Today we celebrate this goofy boy who loves music, water, hugs, and being outside. Today we celebrate how far Kellin has come in the past seven months as part of our family. Today Kellin heard the "Happy Birthday" song sung to him for probably the first time ever (I say probably because it is possible that his first birthday was celebrated since he was at Bethel at that time), and definitely for the first time by his very own family.

Will Kellin's birth family think about him today? I'd like to think so. I'd like to think that no matter how "socially expected" it is in China to abandon a baby with a disability, the birth family still feels grief and thinks of the child that is forever missing from their family. There is no way to identify Kellin's birth family or to tell them that he is now safe and loved, forever, but I wish somehow that we could share with them all about this amazing little guy and tell them how happy we are to have him as part of our family.

Happy Birthday, Kellin!!

Celebration!

Saturday was a big day around here. We celebrated Kellin's baptism in the morning, and since his birthday is coming up on August 29th, we decided to have a big baptism/birthday/homecoming/thank-you-to-those-who-supported-us-through-his-adoption party. Essentially, we just wanted to celebrate Kellin! We had lots of family and friends here, and we had a great time! Even Kellin did very well with all the people and noise and was able to stay calm. He even let a few of the grandparents hold him. Because Kellin has pretty much everything he needs or could want, we asked that people not bring gifts for him, but if they wanted, to make a donation to a waiting child or family. I am happy to say that we received about $80 that we will be able to pay forward to a child and family on Reece's Rainbow! It was truly a fantastic day!

We chose to do Kellin's baptism at home. The two women are good friends of our family who we chose to be Kellin's godparents (yes, one of them is also the pastor who baptized him - pretty neat, huh?).

Over the past two weeks, we feel that we have seen some big gains in terms of Kellin's confidence and mood. He seems to be enjoying more things, and he seems to want to do more things for himself. A few days ago, he decided that he wanted to walk up and down the stairs instead of crawling. And he does! He puts one hand on the wall, and holds someone's hand with the other, and he walks up and down those stairs. A few months ago, I couldn't even conceive of the possibility of him being able to get up and down the stairs. He has also decided that he wants to help feed himself with a spoon, so he holds his spoon (with a good strong grip, rather than the limp, falling-out-of-his-hand grip he had been using), brings it to his mouth, and (with help) brings the spoon back to the bowl and scoops more food onto it. And not just for a bite or two - for most of a meal. He seems pretty proud of himself when he accomplishes these things (and when he helps dress/undress himself - he gets a big grin on his face). So fun to see!

On a different note:

When I was in China, I had the opportunity to visit Bethel, the foster care program where Kellin lived for several months as a baby. They provide high-quality care for children with visual impairments in China. During my tour, when I entered one of the cottages, a little boy came up to me and grabbed my hands while chattering away. He was speaking in Chinese, so I don't know what he was saying, but he was just delightful as he bounced and danced around, talking all the time. I was captivated by this little guy (his energy and enthusiasm reminded me of our son Tigger), and I was so glad when the staff told me he had a family coming for him. Unfortunately, I was sad to learn recently that his family was unable to complete his adoption, and he is again looking for a family. He is five years old, with low vision, but my impression was that developmentally he was doing very well. He clearly can speak well and was just a bundle of energy. He lives at Bethel, so he is well cared for and is receiving an education. Is anyone looking for a friendly, energetic little boy to join their family?

And Quinntavius still waits. Why? I really don't know. His needs are minor and manageable, and he is in a questionable orphanage, and he REALLY needs a family.

Long Update!

I thought it was time for an organized update on Kellin's progress!

Medical: Although Kellin's weight gain is still very slow, he is a very healthy child in general. He has hardly been sick since he's come home, and his only real ongoing medical issue is his need for an iron supplement. The one condition we are continuing to monitor is Kellin's hips. He first saw an orthopedic doctor back in February and had an X-ray done. At that time, the doctor noticed that Kellin's hips were not positioned quite as they should be, but she was hopeful that with time, they would adjust as he spent more time upright and less in a crib, and then nothing further would need to be done. Well, in July, we saw another orthopedic doctor and had another X-ray done. Basically, nothing has changed. His hips are no worse, but they have not moved closer into the proper position as the first doctor had hoped. For now, we will continue to monitor this, but it is becoming a more likely possibility that Kellin may need surgical intervention for his hips at some point.

Eating: We seemed to have reached a pretty stable point with Kellin's eating. He eats three meals and one snack each day, and he eats a fairly consistent amount at each of these meals. For breakfast, he gets baby oatmeal made with half and half, pediasure, and yogurt (to add calories) and 1/2 - 1 container of baby food fruit or veggies (stage 3 - with some chunks in it). For lunch, he gets a scrambled egg made with lots of half and half and butter, and a container of yogurt. For snack, he gets puffs and one of those food pouches (fruits or veggies). For supper, he gets one of those baby food dinners (meat and veggies) and a container of baby food fruit or veggies. At each meal, he drinks either water or orange juice (the only two things I have found that he likes). For drinks, he uses a sippy cup that has a rim like an open cup, and he does it all by himself. He has finally learned how to pick up his cup, take a drink, and then set it down on his tray (instead of dropping it). He is working on using a spoon. At breakfast and lunch, I have him bring the spoon to his mouth every third or fourth bite. I still have to scoop the food on to the spoon and wrap his fingers around it, but then he will lift it to his mouth, put the food into his mouth, and we are working on getting him to set the spoon back down instead of flinging it around. This is a work-in-progress. The most exciting meal of the day is snack, because he feeds himself puffs like a pro! We just put them into a suction bowl so it can't slide around, and he sits there and eats until he is done. He can chew puffs since they only take a couple of crunches before they dissolve, but he really can't chew anything that takes more effort. He will pick up full-size crackers now and put them to his mouth, but he hasn't really made any progress learning how to bite a piece off of food, so once he figures out that the whole cracker won't fit in his mouth, he drops it. He still throws up while eating maybe 1-2 times each week. We think this usually happens when he is full but either doesn't know it, or doesn't know how to tell us. It can be very tricky for us to know when he has had enough. While of course we want Kellin to learn to eat foods that are more typical for preschoolers, we are glad that he is finally taking in a fair amount of calories each day. The other positive is that Kellin is fussing much less at mealtimes, although I certainly wouldn't put eating on his list of favorite activities.

Sleeping: Kellin has become a great sleeper! Since he moved into the bedroom with his brothers about a month ago, he has only been up in the night twice, and one of those times he went right back to sleep in his crib. The other time, he ended up in our bed for the rest of the night, but hey, even our other kids do that occasionally. He takes a short nap (15-45 minutes) most days, and then sleeps 8-10 hours at night.

Movement: Kellin is really starting to move around all on his own! He walks around the living room and his bedroom independently with much more confidence. Sometimes after a meal, I lift him out of his chair onto the floor, and he just starts walking to see what he can find. He is also sometimes making his own decisions about what or who he wants to walk to (such spontaneously walking toward Daddy when he hears his voice or walking toward a toy when he hears someone else accidentally bump it) without us having to say, "Walk to . . ." He is going up and down the stairs all by himself, and when he is feeling cooperative, he can be pretty fast! He is learning where the rooms are upstairs and knows which way to turn at the top of the stairs to get to his bedroom, and then he "trails" his hand along the wall and his crib to figure out where he is going. We are starting to work on climbing - onto a chair, off the couch, etc.

Dressing: Kellin has really figured out how to help with dressing himself! He pulls his shorts up and down all by himself (although of course they often end up twisted or with a rolled waistband, like many other preschoolers), he pulls his shirts over his head (on and off), and puts his arms through. He has good enough balance to step into or out of his shorts (while holding on to someone), and he often prefers to stand up during diaper changes. We are starting to have him help us take his dirty clothes to the laundry basket, also.

Communication: This, as always, has been an area of slow progress for Kellin. He continues to demonstrate that he understands more and more words. He is using several signs independently (please, cube, drink, blankie, more) and several others when he can use our hands to do them (all done, on, mama, dada). He babbles often and makes lots of noises, and it seems to happen more often that he makes a purposeful sound, but we are a long way from verbal communication yet.

Learning: Kellin is pretty sure that he doesn't want to do any specific "work" tasks, but we sneak them in when we can. He's going to be starting preschool in a few weeks and so he needs to know how to "work" on a simple task. He knows how to dump things out of buckets, but we are still working on putting things "in." He is problem-solving how to get things or how to get around things. He explores things by picking them up, manipulating them, tasting them, shaking them, etc. He is showing more interest in reading books now that I read him one book before nap each day and then let him take it to bed with him (he lays there and holds it, chews it, etc.). We are trying to get him to expand his play skills - to use a greater variety of toys and to use them in different ways. This is slow going but he is gradually starting to expand his interests to include more things. He also seems to get bored with his usual musical toys more quickly, and then he will move around to see what else he can find.

Overall, Kellin continues to move forward and we are amazed at how far he has come!

This is my new favorite picture of Kellin. I know, he didn't want the glasses on, but have you ever seen a cuter pout?

This morning we went to our local children's museum. Here's a few of the pictures!

Digging for potatoes

Pooh putting on a show

A whole play area made of tape?!

Pooh checked out the tape tunnels too

Fabulous tree fort!

Sliding down from the tree fort - with a helping hand from Daddy

Tigger using a pulley to move the "stones" up to the next level . . . 

. . . where Rabbit was waiting

What a fun day!!

Kellin and His Daddy

Did you know that Kellin LOVES his daddy?

Fast asleep

Kellin seems to be doing well attaching to all of us, but he and Daddy have a special bond. Kellin reaches for Daddy anytime he knows he is close by. He even seems to perk up a bit when he hears the back door open and close, thinking (I'm guessing) that maybe Daddy is home! I think if he had his way, he'd have Daddy holding him 24/7!

A couple weeks ago we took the kids to the circus. None of them had ever been to a circus before, so it was a new experience for them.

We weren't sure how Kellin was going to do though. He is often scared of loud noises and still gets anxious in public places sometimes. The circus was LOUD, no doubt about it, but Kellin was so sweet. He just cuddled up in Daddy's lap and sat calmly throughout the whole show. Sometimes he covered his ears, but he didn't fuss or try to get away. He looked so trusting, so completely secure, knowing that Daddy would keep him safe. It was just the sweetest thing, and in terms of attachment - WOW. We have come so far.

Kellin also tried out a preschool music class and Vacation Bible School in July. I attended with him, of course, and Pooh was there too. Groups of kids making lots of noise are still hard for Kellin, but I did see him become more comfortable as he got more used to everything. It's just a few short weeks now until Kellin starts daycare and then preschool, so we will see how he handles these big changes in his life.

A few recent pictures:

Rabbit and Kellin

Tigger and Kellin outside

Tigger wrote a letter to his idol, Eli Manning, and was thrilled when he received a letter and autograph in response!

Swimming at the lake

Control

For most of his life, Kellin has had very little control over anything. During his time at the orphanage, he couldn't get out of his crib to explore, so he had no control over where he spent his time. He was handed a bottle a few times a day (not seeing where it came from or who was giving it to him), so he had no control over what and when he ate. Most of the time, we believe he did not have anything in his crib to play with, so he had nothing to pick up, shake, move around, put in his mouth, etc. No one listened to his attempts to communicate, so he had no way of telling others what he wanted or needed, or of interacting with others at all. He went from his biological mother, to an orphanage, to a foster home, back to the orphanage, and then to our family. He had no control over any of these moves.

The result of all this lack of control is that, at adoption, Kellin had no idea that anything he did could have any effect on his world. He had no concept of a world that he was allowed to explore, a world where his cries and smiles changed what happened next. As I've said before, he was incredibly passive about everything - he would just sit or lay and wait for whatever happened next. If he was unhappy or needed something, he would whine or fuss but never make any attempt to get anything for himself or communicate in any other way. He had no idea that problems could be solved, and more importantly, that he could try to solve them himself!

This has been a persistent issue with Kellin. Up until just recently, he was very unmotivated to anything for himself, and in many ways, he still is. BUT . . . recently we've seen that he is starting to move around more and more, and he will try and solve simple problems himself:

If he wants something or someone that he can hear but not touch, he walks to find it (or them).

He is exploring his world more, sometimes walking around just to see what he can find (mainly just in the living room and the boys' bedroom).

When his arm got stuck inside his shirt sleeve while putting it on, he used his other hand to pull it down (instead of sitting there and fussing).

When I put a toy inside a bag, he used one hand to work on pulling it out and the other hand to hold the bag in place.

He is using more signs without using our hands.

He is starting to sign "Mama" and seems to have figured out that if he signs it, I might pick him up rather than making him walk. :-)

When he is walking and finds something in his way, sometimes he tries to go around it, and sometimes he even succeeds.

He knows where the landing is when going up and down the steps, and he knows how to turn when he gets there.

If he gets bored with a toy, he moves around to find something else.

He is making more sounds, and they seem more purposeful, like he is trying to communicate. He is making noises that seem to be his attempts to sing along with songs.

These are little things, but to us, they indicate that Kellin is starting to think for himself, which will really help him learn!



Kellin seems to be making some good strides in terms of sensory/security issues as well. For example, he used to HATE food on his face and constantly wiped his face on his sleeve while eating. Now when his face is messy, he'll often just ignore it.

Kellin after breakfast this morning

Kellin used to be scared of any sort of rough play, such as bouncing him (I think because he didn't feel safe). Now he loves to play bouncing games and this morning I was pretending to "drop" him (basically I was holding him and would let go for just a second before grabbing him again) and he thought it was so funny! No fear at all! This is so sweet because I really felt like he was trusting that I would keep him safe.


And just for fun:

Tigger, our resident monkey