Happy Birthday to My Baby!

Yesterday was Pooh's fourth birthday. We celebrated the day by going to the children's museum and then a special supper - Pooh chose chicken enchiladas followed by chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and chocolate ice cream. And to add to the fun, we had cousins visiting for the weekend, making for a very busy and exciting time!

Technically, Pooh is my "baby" because he is two months younger than Kellin, although of course most of the time, we think of Kellin as our baby because he really is the youngest in every way (size, developmentally, level of independence) except age. But I still like to think of Pooh as my "baby" sometimes.

Pooh was born four years ago, after my most difficult pregnancy (although I recognize it was not nearly as difficult as some). I had morning sickness for five months, and shortly after that ended, I developed gestational diabetes and had to follow a strict diet for the rest of my pregnancy. Pooh was born full-term and healthy, but after birth his blood sugar dropped a bit too low (common with babies whose mothers had gestational diabetes) and he lost too much weight. The solution to both of these issues, so the nurses told me, was to feed him more (I was nursing). Yeah, right. Easier said than done. Pooh was SUCH a sound sleeper that even though I tried to wake him every couple hours to eat, many times I did not succeed in getting him to wake up enough to eat. When we left the hospital, it was with instructions to bring him back in a couple days to have him weighed again. Thankfully, once we got home, Pooh decided to be awake and eat more, and he rapidly gained weight after that.

Pooh turned out to be the most delightful third child anyone could ask for. He was a content baby, a good eater, and easy to care for (except for sleeping, which was the only thing I could really complain about - and I blame this on the fact that for those first couple weeks I was not supposed to let him sleep very long without eating - thereby conditioning him to wake up frequently). He was a little bit of a later walker and talker, which I think was just because he was such an easygoing guy. As a toddler, his favorite activity, that would keep him occupied for long periods of time, was to sit on the floor surrounded by books and look through them one at a time. For a long time in public, he was very shy and did not talk to strangers, so much so that when he finally DID decide to talk to people (just within the last year), many people remarked on how they had no idea he could talk like that!

Now Pooh is a VERY articulate and curious four-year-old who talks all the time and asks questions constantly. His current interest is water towers (how they look, what they do, how they are same and different, etc.), and we actually put together a photo book of water towers as his birthday gift. He is a wonderful, delightful child and we are so blessed to have him as part of our family!

Happy Birthday, Pooh!

So Much to Share

We have had a great week around here! After his crazy-fussy weekend, Kellin suddenly turned into a much happier kid. Don't get me wrong, he still fusses and whines plenty, but somehow he just seems more settled and happier overall. Maybe he has finally adjusted to his new routine, maybe he even let go of some trauma from his past - whatever it is, we'll take it!

We've noticed that Kellin is much more confident in public lately. We went to a fall/harvest-type festival last weekend, and a science museum yesterday (pictures below), and Kellin chose to WALK around (some) at both places! He doesn't seem nearly as overwhelmed by crowds and noise as he used to be. Huge step forward!

Kellin's language is still inching forward. He is regularly adding new signs to his vocabulary AND maybe starting to verbalize a bit. A few days ago, he definitely said, "All done, all done" when he finished eating (however, he has not done this again) and this morning, I thought maybe he was trying to copy a couple of the words I said.

Kellin is becoming a rock star with those "put in" tasks I started working on all those months ago. He puts shapes into the bucket and plastic coins into his treasure chest toy pretty easily. I think it might be time to up the challenge - maybe he could start to put the shapes into the correct holes on the shape sorter? (Up until now, I just took the lid off and all he had to do was drop them in.)

Kellin climbs up onto the couch and ottoman, and onto our laps, by himself. He is getting much better about climbing in and out of his booster chair for mealtimes. Sometimes he walks down the stairs without holding our hands (he puts both hands on the wall instead).

On a few occasions, Kellin has taken a BITE off of a cracker. This is a HUGE first for him! The eating progress continues to be slow but steady.

I am going to put in some pictures here, but please continue reading to the end, as this post ends with me going into my "advocacy" mode and I really want you to see a couple of very sweet waiting boys. :-)

Fall Festival:

Peek-a-boo!

Rabbit and Pooh

It was a VERY windy day!

Train ride!

Best one of all four of them - not bad!

So much fun on the train!

Trying out the bike course.

Look how calm he is. :-)

Did I mention it was windy? Look at his hair!!

Science Museum:

Making giant bubbles

Light-up wall!

And more light!

I love the look of wonder on her face.

Pull hard!

Best way to look through a microscope - with your cheeks.

Touching fossils

Pooh too

That's a big astronaut!

Working hard

Kellin wanted to try too

And . . . happy in the light!

And random pictures:

These three worked with Daddy to build a Lego Millennium Falcon!

Goofy glasses from the science museum

Kellin loves to stand up on the windowsill and look out at the sunlight. Don't worry, Rabbit is right behind him.

Happy boy!

Kellin climbed up on the couch all by himself!

We thought maybe this could be Kellin's Halloween costume, but he did NOT like the hat!

Shouldn't all children have the opportunity to have these kinds of experiences? Even if they are orphans? Even if they have special needs? Even if they live halfway around the world?

Meet Shepard.

http://reecesrainbow.org/99191/shepard-2

Shepard has a sad story. He is two years old, has a resolved heart condition, and has vision issues. It is not known exactly how much he can see. His adoption was recently disrupted in-country. What that means is that his family traveled to China to adopt him, spent 24 hours with him, and then changed their minds and left without him. The reasons given were that it seemed that his vision appeared to be poorer than they were led to believe, and that he exhibited some autism-like behaviors. I saw a video of this little guy, made during those 24 hours his family spent with him. I can tell you that Shepard has WAY more skills at two years old than Kellin did at his Gotcha Day at age 3 1/2 (and look how far we've come!). I saw Shepard walking, eating, touching toys, and cuddling. He looked incredibly sweet. It is possible (but certainly not guaranteed) that those autism-like behaviors are simply institutional behaviors that are very typical for orphans, especially those with visual impairments. So Shepard once again waits. I hope and pray another family steps forward for him soon.

The other little guy here is someone I have featured before. This is Robbie. Isn't he handsome?

Robbie is perhaps the most special waiting child to me because I had the great privilege of meeting him when I was in China picking up Kellin in January. I felt an instant connection to this little bundle of energy, who grabbed my hands and chattered away. The staff told me he had a family coming for him. I thought of him often over the next months, wondering how he was doing and if his family had come yet. It hit me hard to learn this summer that his family was unable to complete his adoption. And the facts are that Robbie is five years old (an "older" boy) and he is visually impaired (for some reason, one of the least chosen special needs by adopting families), which means that his chances of finding a family are realistically not too good. However, I HAVE to believe that there is a family out there for him! My impressions of Robbie were that he was bright, talkative, social, and active. Robbie lives at Bethel, an amazing foster care program for visually impaired children. He receives good care and good education. However, in China, this only guarantees him a good "right now," not necessarily a good future. His visual impairment and orphan status are difficult obstacles to overcome in China. I desperately want this little boy to know the love and care of a family. I believe he would bring so much joy! I felt the joy radiating from him just in the few minutes I was lucky enough to spend with him!

Long Overdue Update

I know it's been WAY too long since I updated! The last few weeks have been a whirlwind as we settle back into our school year routine. Kellin has been in daycare for five weeks now, and in preschool for three. This has been a tough transition for him. It's clear that he has been very stressed by all the changes, new places, new people, and uncertain expectations. He expresses this mostly by fussing/whining/crying, which, when he gets into one of his moods, he can do pretty much for hours at a time, with nothing we can really do to comfort him. It's been frustrating. Last weekend, he literally cried ALL WEEKEND. For two days straight. And nothing worked to comfort him for very long. It was very stressful and frustrating for all of us. And yet, on his good days, he can go most of the day without fussing much, and we'll see lots of smiles. There doesn't seem to be much of a pattern yet - he has done this at school, daycare, and home. Maybe it's just when the stress builds to a level that he can't cope with anymore. In any case, we certainly hope he can adjust to his new schedule soon!

In terms of attachment during all this change, a few things have become clear. One, Kellin is strongly and solidly attached to Daddy. He reaches for Daddy, smiles for Daddy, gets excited when he hears his voice, prefers Daddy over all others. I believe that Kellin's attachment to me is weaker. Some days, he seems reluctant to let me leave him at daycare or school; other days he practically dives out of my arms to get to his daycare provider or teacher. He seems either indifferent or sometimes a little bit happy when I pick him up, but it's certainly not the dramatic reaction he has when Daddy appears. Sometimes this bothers me; other times I realize that it's natural, and that Kellin and I are still working toward a bond. I have heard many families say that their children bonded with Daddy first, because before adoption all caregivers were female and therefore the child may connect a female person with their previous unpredictable care. I am confident that we will eventually get there.

What about progress in other areas? Kellin's progress in many ways seems to have plateaued lately, probably because of all the emotions and changes he is dealing with, but we have noticed a few steps forward. The most exciting one is that his "language" seems to be growing. He has learned a few new signs, including waving bye-bye, and his babbling has really increased. It often seems like he says his big sister's name, and he is saying "mama" quite a bit more than he used to, but as always, I'm still not sure if he is connecting that to me. He is "singing" more too - babbling in a singsong way or humming. We are still hoping for that communication breakthrough!

Another bit of progress is that Kellin is chewing more food. We can give him regular crackers now, as long as we break them up into bite-sized pieces (he still can't or won't bite a piece off of food). He will only chew crunchy things like this, though, nothing that is mushier like bread. However, every small step forward is good, and I know we will get to the point where he is eating just as a child his age should be. He also seems to be (sometimes) showing that he WANTS to eat, and we think he is starting to understand the sensation of being hungry. Yes!

I hope that once Kellin really settles in to his new schedule, we will start to see more progress, now that he is attending preschool and receiving services from all kinds of therapists and teachers every week. Maybe my next update will have more exciting news to share!

Pictures!

I left Kellin over by his rocker (on the left) and came back to find him headed up the stairs. He had never gone up the stairs by himself before! When I got there, he was trying to figure out that laundry basket, which he knew wasn't supposed to be in his way. I also discovered he needed a diaper change, which made me wonder if he was trying to head upstairs to his bedroom where we usually change him?

Handsome little man!

Hanging with big sister!

These two sure have fun together!