One Day (or Night) at a Time

First time at the dinner table together.

Kellin has been home for six days now.  It has been quite the experience having him here!  The trip home was a bit rough on him, especially with the time change.  It is taking time for him to reemerge from his shell.  Day-by-day he is getting more comfortable and having more playful time with us at home.  Kathleen still does not think he is quite where he was behavior-wise compared to before the trip home.

The biggest issue is he is having a hard time sleeping during our night.  He ends up being awake for a good part of the night..  Then we spend the whole next day trying not to let him sleep too much so that he will hopefully sleep more the next night.  So of course, he spends a good part of his day very tired.

Experiencing the texture of rice cereal.

Once we get him on a good sleep schedule, the next order of business is to start expanding his food.  He was only ever fed from a bottle, and he is very resistant to having anything else put in his mouth.  So we cram everything we can into bottles: formula, rice cereal, and baby food.  He can be very picky with what he eats as well.  Kathleen tried giving him some pediasure today, and he was not having any of it.  Not only that, but it took quite a bit of convincing to get him to trust that the next bottle was back to the regular stuff.  We need to get this kid to eat!!

With Daddy and Pooh

With Tigger

With Rabbit

Of course not every moment has been a battle.  It has been great playing with him and watching him interact.  Rabbit has been especially doing a good job with Kellin.  She loves to play with him.  And it works out so well to have her around to keep him occupied when Kathleen or I need to get something else done around the house.  Tigger and Pooh will play with him for short amounts of time, but they quickly get bored because he doesn't want to play what they want to play.  I think this is a pretty common occurrence with young siblings though, it is the same way that Tigger has only recently starting playing much with Pooh.

Working on sitting while playing.

Kellin is stimming himself much less than when he first got home. He used to hit himself in the eye a lot, and that has stopped except for a rare occasion.  The other one is playing with his lips.  In and of itself it is not too bad, but he would end up covered with saliva!  He still does that one fairly often, but for the most part he has pretty good control over it, and only does it when he is really checked out.

He's a happy boy!

I think the best growth I have seen from him is he is more willing to be cuddled!  He still doesn't want it at all when he is trying to go to sleep.  But he'll take it when he needs comfort other times.

He can be such a goon at times.

He loves the light!

I keep feeling like I am not painting an adequate picture of what it is truly like to finally have him home.  Maybe it is because I am sleep deprived, maybe it is because words just cannot describe it!  The family definitely feels complete.  And even though he has been here for only a very short time, it feels normal, like he has been with us all along.

Home!

I am thrilled to report that Kellin and I, along with my dad, arrived home from China yesterday morning!  It was a very long trip home, including an expected night stuck in Detroit, but we finally made it.  Kellin did very well on the trip, actually - he was content to sit or lay in his seat for most of the plane rides.  The toughest part was all the lines and security checks, but the advantage of having a crying child is that you tend to get ushered to the front of those lines.

I know that Eric has been providing updates all during my time in China, but I thought I'd recap the trip from my perspective too, for those who may be interested.  We left the U.S. on January 8th and arrived in Beijing the next day.  We spent two days exploring that city before getting on the train to Jinan.  When we arrived in Jinan, we were informed by the guide that Kellin was already there and waiting for us.  Upon arriving at the hotel, I had just enough time to set down my things in the room and take off my coat before there was a knock on the door.  I opened it - and there he was!  The whole "transaction" (because that's really what it was - no chitchat, just quick paperwork and then the adults left) took less than half an hour, and then I was alone with my son.

Let me say that at this point, I was feeling so many different things - excited, nervous, scared.  Kellin's behavior and skills matched his file, pictures, and videos in nearly every way, so I "knew" what to expect - but knowing and then actually seeing are two very different things.  It was clear almost immediately that Kellin has been terribly neglected over the past two years (before that he was in foster care and did well there).  Although he was very clean when he arrived and had no evidence of rashes or lice or anything like that, he was super-skinny and so weak.  He had no muscle tone and could not sit on his own (although he could stand, surprisingly).  Remember he is almost 3 1/2 years old.  He was quickly overstimulated by touching and talking, and he preferred to spend all his time in his bed curled up in a fetal position, doing things like playing with his lips and hitting/pushing at his eyes.  He had never been given solid food, only a bottle of formula a few times a day.  He did not respond to sound, except for singing, sometimes.  He would not hold anything and had no interest in toys.  It broke my heart to watch him laying there, completely in his own world.

Over the past two weeks, it has been amazing watching Kellin come alive.  Don't get me wrong - we still have many, many things to work on, but we seen so many changes already.  He can sit up on his own and sometimes even gets himself into a sitting position.  He responds to several different songs and has started to do a few actions (like clapping and rocking).  He is able to be held and played with for long periods of time and then needs only a short time to "recharge" before we can play with him again.  He smiles and giggles (and is SO CUTE when he does).  He babbles.  He seems to sing the tune to "Twinkle Twinkle."  He will let us add baby food and rice cereal to his bottle, although no luck getting him to eat anything else yet.  He is starting to hold toys and even reach for them when he drops them.

We've seen him grow already - and we know that the journey has just begun!

Getting Closer

Today Kathleen and Kellin have there appointment at the American Consulate in Guangzhou.  This is a very official meeting to get the final permission to bring Kellin into the country.  He has been cleared medically, and you get 2 levels of pre-approval from immigration ahead of time, so I don't think they can say no at this point.  Then the next day he will receive his VISA so that on Friday, THEY CAN COME HOME!  Our understanding is that he becomes a U.S. citizen then as soon as he enters the country.

Kellin has been a little fussy as of late.  Perhaps there was a honeymoon period that is now over and he needs to test the waters of "how will this lady act when I cry"?  As I think as I said before, as much as it is not fun to have a crying kid around you.  It is an important part of bonding for him to be upset so Kathleen can have a chance to comfort him, to let him know that now there is somebody there when he need it.  They tried getting back to the playroom yesterday, but Kellin wasn't feeling it much.

Kellin is doing a very good job of standing on his own now.  They are trying to get him to walk along furniture, but he hasn't been too interested yet.  The other day Kathleen did say he transferred from the coffee table to the couch, so that is exciting.  Kathleen and Kellin continue to find ways to play together.  She has started teaching him "how big is Kellin?" and a few time he has raised his arms up so she will say "So Big".  Kathleen says he thinks that is pretty cool.

Back at home, we said good-bye to Grandma.  So we are on our own again.  Things are going pretty smoothly.  Yesterday I have to admit I had so much school work to do that I let the kids watch a movie so that I could get caught up.  The movie kept them up a good 45 min to an hour longer than they should have been.  So Pooh was pretty crabby at daycare, and Tigger fell asleep in school.  As soon as I'm done with this blog, I need to go do some more.  I don't want to be grading all weekend, my first days with Kellin.  Luckily, Monday is a teacher workshop day, so if anything I don't get done this week, I can leave for Monday.

It is hard to imagine exactly what life with Kellin will be like.  We're about to find out.  Preparing myself for a challenging road ahead.  But I know our family.  There are going to be some tough times, but we can do it together.

Not sure if I will blog again before Kellin comes home or not.  We will only have one more chance to Skype with Kathleen, so I don't know what I'll be getting for updates.  It will be very late Friday when we get home.  In the mean time, we have piano lessons, Jump Rope 4 Heart, maybe gymnastics and of course more grading that needs to happen.

Thank you all so much for supporting us on this journey, and we will see you on the next road!  Haven't decided if we will start a new blog.  Racing2Kellin won't seem appropriate when he is here, but I'm sure some of you will want to know how things are going still.

Playtime!

Out for a walk with some new friends.

Guangzhou so far has been a great place for Kathleen and Kellin to be.  I always thought it was so weird to have all the adopting families have to complete the process.  But it is actually nice this way.  In Jinan, when Kathleen and Kellin were out and about they would get a lot of looks.  Since there are so many adopting families in Guangzhou they don't get those looks.  Even better, she has had the chance to visit with these other families.  Nothing is better for a person then to get to socialize with others that are in the same boat.  The playroom has been so great for Kellin.  It is great to see him exploring all the different toys and showing interest in so many things.

In the play room.

I feel like I have already written this next thing, but I looked back on my blog from before and didn't see it, so sorry if this is a repeat.  Kathleen has been working on getting to Kellin to not do some of his stims any more.  And he is hitting himself in the eye less.  The other one she is working on is he plays with his lips a lot, which in and of itself is not a big deal, but he tends to let a lot of saliva out when he does it so that it makes a big mess.  He is getting it a little bit, because with the hitting himself, he will do it once and then grin at Kathleen, so it has become a bit of a game.  A couple of the behaviors she is just letting be because they are harmless.  Things like just pressing on his eyes, and pulling down on his cheeks to open up his eyes more.

Kellin still loves to be sung to.  Kathleen is trying to teach him some games like pat-a-cake.  The other day she had him sitting on her lap and was singing "Row, row, row your boat" to him while pulling back and forth on his hands.  After she stopped, he pulled on her hands to get her to do it again.  Even more exciting, the next day, he initiated it again!  Putting a song to an experience definitely seems to get him to pay attention.  So much progress in such a small amount of time.

Great to see him exploring the world around him!

Here at home things are going pretty well.  Except for right now, having issues with Rabbit being Rabbit, even Grandma can't fix that.  It has been nice to have a second adult to rely on to help with the kids.  I was able to get partway caught up with schoolwork.  I got a project finished up.  I brought the dog to be bathed and nails done.  The one thing I regret that I didn't get done with this warm weather, I'm just realizing I still have not taken the Christmas lights off the house.  Oh well.

New week starting.  Hopefully we can all plow through it and Kathleen and Kellin will be home before we know it.

Doctor's Visit

Kellin went to the doctor's today for a check-up.  Basically to make sure he doesn't have any contagious diseases before going to the U.S.  They still have to wait for the tuberculosis test which will come back tomorrow.  The only concerns raised at the doctor were his hearing and nutrition.  The hearing concern is that he did not turn towards a squeaky toy.  But Kathleen knows he hears her when she sings.  And his reaction to sounds is always to be still and listen.  As far as the nutrition goes, we already knew that, and she is doing the best she can to remedy that.  Hopefully the tuberculosis test comes back negative.

He's standing!

The hotel room they are in now is more like an apartment.  It has two bedrooms, each with its own bathroom, a living room and a kitchenette.  It also has a crib for Kellin, which is good because he was getting pretty adventurous in the bed.  The most exciting part is it has a washing machine, but I'm not sure they've figured out how to work it yet.  Actually scratch that, the most exciting part was the washing machine, until they discovered the play room!  The found it on their way back from breakfast.  I'm sure they will be down to use that a fair bit in this last week before coming home!

I probably would have more to share, but there were serious internet issues this evening.  Actually it seems everybody else got to talk to Kathleen (or Mike) but whenever I got in on the line, the connection would go and I didn't get to say a word to her really.  That was really frustrating for me.  The time away isn't so bad with the occasional Skype.  Now it has been over a day since the last quality conversation I have been able to have.  Hopefully it will work better tomorrow.

Things have been going smoothly here at home.  It has been nice to have Grandma here with us for a couple of days.  She has been doing a good job keeping the kids entertained so I can get some rest and some work done.  It was especially nice to get to sleep until 7:30 am today instead of 5:30.

Brief Update

Flight was delayed, but apparently that was a good thing
as a mistake had been made at the notary.

Kathleen and Kellin are now in Guangzhou.  I had to have her clarify exactly what our status is.  He is completely our child right now, but Guangzhou is where you go through the necessary paperwork to make him able to travel into the United States and become a citizen.

The flight was a little bit rough, but Kellin did pretty well, and only fussed the last little bit.  That might have been due to completely soaking his diaper, and pants and Kathleen.  And apparently there was a huge line for the bathroom, so they just waited until landing to take care of it. Today Kellin goes to the doctor to make sure he isn't carrying any diseases the would prevent him from being allowed into the country.

Kellin is growing more comfortable with Kathleen, and she says he actually likes being held quite a bit now!  She thinks he may even have said "mama" and meant her!  Just amazing how much a child can change in such a short period of time when they get what they need.

I can't tell from this picture to what extent he is standing on
his own and how much he is leaning on Grandpa

On the home-front, nothing too new here. Grandma is here to help entertain the kids for the weekend so I can get a break and have some time to catch back up on work that has been neglected.  We had some issues cleaning the house yesterday, and I have to admit I really lost my temper.  But we all worked through it.  Rabbit and I had a very successful infusion set change this morning, no pouting, no crying, and it was done in 5 minutes!

Tired

I do not have a whole lot new to add tonight, but I figured some of you might want to know what we have all been up to.

We haven't always been able to find time to Skype, it is very difficult to coordinate schedules, but we have a couple of times since the last time I posted.  I feel that from the first time I saw Kellin on Skype to what I have seen from him recently, he is looking much more comfortable with Kathleen.  The first time, he was squirming, and stimming, and just really looked like he didn't want to be there.  Now he will sit and even cuddle in a little bit!  He still tires of the attention and wants to be left alone sometimes, and that is hard on Kathleen, but even though having somebody love you is a change for the better, it is a big adjustment!  Keep your prayers with Kathleen and Kellin.  I know she is a little overwhelmed, not so much with the care-giving.  I think just with the sadness of realizing just how bad his life was to make him react to things in the way he does.

On to the positives!  Kellin is vocalizing more and more.  Kathleen has heard him say "mama"  and "baba".  Not in a way that means anything yet, but just like a baby, you start with their utterances and get them to associate it with something so that it means something.  The goal for "mama" is obvious.  For "baba", he has a ball that he enjoys holding, so Kathleen is trying to use that on him.  In terms of food, she is slowly getting him to take in a few new flavors, some baby veggies, and some yogurt.  But at this point everything still needs to come from the bottle.  Right now, the goal is to get that kid some Calories!  Kathleen suspects Kellin does have some light sensitivity.  He has responded to lights being turned off.  He likes to sit by the window in their hotel room, facing it, but only when it is light outside.

They have gotten out to do some sight-seeing.  Today they are hotel-bound as the air quality is "dangerous".  I don't know what all is they see.  I only get the pictures, no explanations to go with them. Tomorrow they have the next big challenge, flying to Guangzhou.  Hopefully Kellin will be able to handle that ok.  I guess that is good practice for the long international flight home about a week later.

Here at home things are going well enough.  I am getting a bit worn down, and a bit behind.  The past couple of evenings it has been get home, make supper, eat quick and head out.  Last night it was to pick up the new van.  We had thought about waiting until the summer to purchase a vehicle, but as the fundraising was very successful and we ended up not as cash-strapped as we feared at the end, we decided we did not need to.  It will be nice to have a vehicle that can hold the whole family.  The three kids at home have already had a lot of fun riding in it.  Tonight was piano lessons for Rabbit.  After that, online grading for me.  I really should grade some other papers, but the kids will forgive me, and the laundry has been waiting to be folded for quite awhile.

I really should not complain.  I'm not really doing any more than Kathleen has to do regularly.  When I am coaching I am often gone and she has to do all the things that I have been doing by herself.  Of course we all know she is more competent than I am.  Luckily Grandma is coming to visit this weekend, and she can entertain the kids while I get caught up on everything that I'm too tired to do right now.

So I think we are all a little weary, and ready to be reunited.  We know it isn't going get easier when Kathleen and Kellin are home, but at least then we will be doing it together.

He's Officially Ours!

Waiting to do paperwork, almost the
last of it.

I would be much more excited if it meant he is officially home, but today Kathleen took Kellin to Shandong International Adoption Registrar and completed the paperwork to complete the adoption!  Tomorrow (or today their time), they are going to get it notarized I believe.  Then they will be hanging out until it is time to go to Guangzhou to complete the process - basically getting the permission to leave China and enter the US I believe.

All done with that stage!

It sounds like it has been a pretty good day for Kellin and Kathleen.  The best part is - he fussed when he was getting tired of waiting around while paperwork is being completed.  You can't get a more normal kid thing to happen then that!  Kathleen is still struggling to get him to eat more of a variety, but he definitely knows the routine and wants to stick to it.  Even though he downs the bottle very quickly he will refuse a second.  He also doesn't like it when Kathleen tries to sneak other foods into it.  You might wonder how this is done, apparently the hole in the nipple is enormous.  Their guide is going to take him to a store tomorrow to check into some other foods that might be more to his liking.

Interesting cultural difference.  In China, people dress in many layers in the winter, even for temperatures that we (at least in Minnesota) would not consider that cold.  So as Kathleen was out and about today she was getting a lot of looks that Kellin was not super bundled up.  It was 50 degrees F!  I would be wearing a t-shirt!   Oh well, Kellin probably does need to be more bundled up, he is all skin and bones.

Mommy and Kellin play time.

Kathleen and her father have both thought they heard Kellin humming Twinkle Twinkle.  That is the song Kathleen has been singing to him a lot.  Rabbit played it on the piano to him, and he liked that.  I'm glad that music works so well to put him in a good mood.  I love to sing, and I love to play guitar and harmonica!

Otherwise not too much new here at home.  Pretty typical day.  I was back to work.  Pooh was back at his regular daycare, Rabbit and Tigger were back at school.  I thought about not updating the blog today, but I thought a paperwork update would be good.

Virtually Complete Family!

Grandpa helping Kellin walk. Wish I could trade places.

The day has finally come, our family is virtually complete!  Of course Kathleen and Kellin are still in China, but we have checked in over Skype twice now!

So far Kellin has spent the night, and a few hours on either side with mommy.  A quick down of what we have learned so far from the experience (at least what I have gathered from Skyping):

• He hasn't cried once yet - not really a good things.
• He shows his agitation in other ways (mainly stimming - which is to be expected with somebody who has sensory issues)
• He likes to have people help him walk.
• He does not like applesauce.  Much to Kathleen's dismay, so far all she has had luck with is the formula from the orphanage.
• He likes to lay or stand, not a fan of sitting.
• He babbles, sometimes in a musical way.
• When you sing to him, he calms down.
• Whether Kathleen speaks to him in English or her best attempt at Chinese he doesn't react one way or the other.  Maybe her Chinese just isn't good enough?
• He is missing his crib, he is in a bed at the hotel and he is looking for the rails to climb up.

Kellin and Mommy, I'm guessing we'll see a lot of pictures
like this over the coming days!  As it should be!

I'm not sure any of those things are surprising given where he has come from.  I'm super excited about his wanting to be helped to walk, and of the sounds that he is making.  Hopefully that means that he will be ready to progress once he is in a more nurturing environment.  But I know, one day at a time.  We've thrown a lot of changes at him for sure!  Unfortunately it is still quite awhile until he is home and can adjust to his new life.  

Today they will start the in country paperwork, hopefully that all goes well. I'm so paranoid that they will be missing a document that they need.  We checked the list several times and I am sure it is all fine there.  I can't wait until tomorrow evening when we can check in with how their first whole day together went (along with a second night).

The Lego Alcove

Back at home, we had a pretty typical day.  We went to church, and shared with everyone who cared to hear the good news.  I posted the first pictures of Kellin and Kathleen on Facebook, and had more notifications than I think I have ever had before!  We continue to prepare the house for Kellin's homecoming.  I helped the kids set up a Lego Alcove so that we can keep Legos as far away from Kellin as possible until he gets to a point where he knows not to put things in his mouth.  So most of the day was spend rearranging furniture to make way for that.  Pooh rediscovered his Little Tikes car that I brought in from the garage to make more room for a larger vehicle out there.  I let him play with it once I was sure that I had as much water out of it as would come out.

It has been quite a day.  I will feel so much better when my family is more than virtually complete.  I really want to be able to hold my son and start my journey with him!

First Full Day in China

On the first day in China, Kathleen and her dad had a chance to see some sights and take in the local culture.  They toured the Great Wall and went to a jade factory.  Michael had an interesting experience when buying a sim card for his tablet. The one store sold them but did not activate them.  The shop owner had her daughter take him to where he could get it activated - on the back of her scooter!  I wish I had a picture of that!  I guess in all getting around by vehicle has been interesting as any road signs and lane markings are apparently just suggestions.

Maybe the most exciting place Kathleen visited today was Bethel, the group-home for blind children that Kellin stayed in for a time.  Kathleen got a tour of the facility.  She said all the children there wanted to play with her.  She of course had to keep asking for translation of what they were saying.  Really special, the staff at Bethel put together a photo album of all the pictures they had of Kellin, including one that we had never seen before.  They also wrote little messages in it to Kellin.  Hopefully we will get a scanned in version of the book for you to see.

Back on the home-front, we have been very busy.  We took Rabbit to gymnastics, and stopped to eat at McDonald's afterwords because I didn't think I would have time to cook supper as we did not get back until 6:20.  Usually whatever parent was not at gymnastics would have supper waiting upon return.  This morning we did all the chores, and finally "finished" about 10:00.  I say "finished" because laundry is never ending, and there are a few small things I haven't done yet, like getting dressed for the day.  Sometime this weekend I need to clean the garage to make room for the new van.

One way I got the kids to participate in cleaning this morning was by telling them it was the only way we were going to make it to see Annie in the theater this afternoon.  I want the kids to see the movie so they have a realistic depiction of what it is like taking an orphan into your home :P  Don't send me nasty comments for that last sentence - I am of course kidding.

While Kathleen is gone I do plan on making preparations for Kellin in addition to making room for the van in the garage.  We need to put the crib together, something I'm sure Pooh and Tigger will want to be big helpers for.  Also Kellin needs a safe place to play.  Currently a lot of Tigger's Legos make it up into the living room, so we are discussing a solution.  Legos aren't safe to have around a child until we know we can trust him to keep things out of his mouth.

Tomorrow is the really big day!  If all goes according to plan, Kellin will be in Kathleen's arms.  So hopefully, tomorrow's post will have pictures of that!

The Journey has begun!

Kathleen's absence was felt most strongly for
me tonight as I set the table for dinner.

Kathleen and her father are off!  They are somewhere over the arctic as I write this. It was a tearful goodbye yesterday as we dropped Kathleen off at the hotel so she could be ready to go for her 6:30am flight.  Rabbit and Tigger cried a lot anyway.  The scale of her absence has not sunk in with Pooh, who asked me this morning, "Will Mommy be home soon?"

We are having blizzards here in Minnesota. School at my district was cancelled, so I stayed home with Pooh.  Rabbit and Tigger were at school most of the day before their school called it early.  Pooh and I started on a project to surprise Mommy with when she comes home.  I'm guessing we will have all too much time for such projects.  Kathleen managed to get out of town ahead of the blizzard.  Unfortunately, due to mechanical problems with their plane, they were in Detroit an extra 2 hours, much of that in the plane on the tarmac.  I feel sorry for all of those people, what a way to start a 13 hour flight!

I've added all our expenses thus far.  We are up to about $33,600.  I am sure that there are still some expenses to come that are adoption related in some way.  But to the best of my figuring, this is what we will end up with as the price of bringing Kellin home.  I'm sure there will be many posts to come over the next few days, so stay tuned!

So close now!!

Travel plans are set.  Kathleen will be getting Kellin on Sunday evening (Sunday morning local).  If all goes smoothly the whole family can meet him via skype before church that day!!  They should be home then on the 23rd of January!

The checks for the in country travel are in the mail.  I will update the expense list for that once I have the exact dollars from Kathleen.

I will be keeping everyone up-to-date while Kathleen is in country.  So make you are checking often between the 11th and the 24th.  Please keep us all in your prayers during this time.  I'm sure all of the travel will be hard on everyone involved.  Back on the home front I will have all three kids to myself for the longest stretch of time I've ever had.  I've never had to get them ready for school on my own.  That is what I'm most worried about.