Long Overdue Update

I know it's been WAY too long since I updated! The last few weeks have been a whirlwind as we settle back into our school year routine. Kellin has been in daycare for five weeks now, and in preschool for three. This has been a tough transition for him. It's clear that he has been very stressed by all the changes, new places, new people, and uncertain expectations. He expresses this mostly by fussing/whining/crying, which, when he gets into one of his moods, he can do pretty much for hours at a time, with nothing we can really do to comfort him. It's been frustrating. Last weekend, he literally cried ALL WEEKEND. For two days straight. And nothing worked to comfort him for very long. It was very stressful and frustrating for all of us. And yet, on his good days, he can go most of the day without fussing much, and we'll see lots of smiles. There doesn't seem to be much of a pattern yet - he has done this at school, daycare, and home. Maybe it's just when the stress builds to a level that he can't cope with anymore. In any case, we certainly hope he can adjust to his new schedule soon!

In terms of attachment during all this change, a few things have become clear. One, Kellin is strongly and solidly attached to Daddy. He reaches for Daddy, smiles for Daddy, gets excited when he hears his voice, prefers Daddy over all others. I believe that Kellin's attachment to me is weaker. Some days, he seems reluctant to let me leave him at daycare or school; other days he practically dives out of my arms to get to his daycare provider or teacher. He seems either indifferent or sometimes a little bit happy when I pick him up, but it's certainly not the dramatic reaction he has when Daddy appears. Sometimes this bothers me; other times I realize that it's natural, and that Kellin and I are still working toward a bond. I have heard many families say that their children bonded with Daddy first, because before adoption all caregivers were female and therefore the child may connect a female person with their previous unpredictable care. I am confident that we will eventually get there.

What about progress in other areas? Kellin's progress in many ways seems to have plateaued lately, probably because of all the emotions and changes he is dealing with, but we have noticed a few steps forward. The most exciting one is that his "language" seems to be growing. He has learned a few new signs, including waving bye-bye, and his babbling has really increased. It often seems like he says his big sister's name, and he is saying "mama" quite a bit more than he used to, but as always, I'm still not sure if he is connecting that to me. He is "singing" more too - babbling in a singsong way or humming. We are still hoping for that communication breakthrough!

Another bit of progress is that Kellin is chewing more food. We can give him regular crackers now, as long as we break them up into bite-sized pieces (he still can't or won't bite a piece off of food). He will only chew crunchy things like this, though, nothing that is mushier like bread. However, every small step forward is good, and I know we will get to the point where he is eating just as a child his age should be. He also seems to be (sometimes) showing that he WANTS to eat, and we think he is starting to understand the sensation of being hungry. Yes!

I hope that once Kellin really settles in to his new schedule, we will start to see more progress, now that he is attending preschool and receiving services from all kinds of therapists and teachers every week. Maybe my next update will have more exciting news to share!

Pictures!

I left Kellin over by his rocker (on the left) and came back to find him headed up the stairs. He had never gone up the stairs by himself before! When I got there, he was trying to figure out that laundry basket, which he knew wasn't supposed to be in his way. I also discovered he needed a diaper change, which made me wonder if he was trying to head upstairs to his bedroom where we usually change him?

Handsome little man!

Hanging with big sister!

These two sure have fun together!