One Year Ago . . . January 19th

This day was a total hang-out-in-the-apartment-and-playroom kind of day! I think pictures kind of say it all! The time we spent in the playroom today was the best "play" experience of the whole trip. Even though I still had to take the lead (showing him things, putting toys into his hand, lifting him onto the rocker), he was willing to touch and explore things, and he had fun!! His little personality was starting to shine through, just a bit.

And some quiet time in the apartment, too -

I don't know what it is about this picture, but I find it SO SWEET.

One Year Ago . . . January 18th

A few pictures from our hotel apartment. Forgive the mess; it was already starting to look pretty “lived in.”

This morning, Kellin was sitting on my lap and he started pulling my hands back and forth to request “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” just like yesterday. He remembered from the day before and he wanted to sing some more! This was an exciting moment for me! He also loved to stand on the couch that stood in front of the living room window and look outside.

We headed out to visit a Buddhist temple with our guide and fellow adoptive family. We had gotten a stroller from the hotel, and this turned out to work very well with Kellin. 

He “stimmed” a lot – poking and spitting – but he didn’t fuss nearly as much as when I tried to carry him around. The Buddhist temple was busy and very interesting to see. Our guide was amazing as she explained the significance of different features of the building and the activities that went on there.

Afterward, we went to a park to walk around. It was a beautiful sunny day, warm by our standards (I think in the 70’s), and it was so nice to be able to go out and do something without Kellin falling apart. One thing that stands out in my memory from this walk is that the little girl of the other family picked up a piece of paper from the ground and handed it to Kellin – and he held onto it! For several minutes! This was THE first time I had seen him choose to hold something (I had often put things into his hand but he didn’t really have much awareness of them and they would slip out of his hands pretty quickly, without him noticing or caring). Of course, I wasn’t sure about Kellin holding onto this random dirty piece of paper from the ground, but NO WAY was I taking it away from him!

We saw these decorations in the park. I don’t know what they were or what they were for, but they were impressive!

After returning to the hotel, I decided to check out the playroom with Kellin. This was a lot of fun. I showed Kellin all sorts of toys, and he seemed to enjoy a few things. It was fun to get in a few minutes of real play with him.

One Year Ago . . . January 17th

Standing in the sunlight in our apartment's living room

The breakfast buffet at the Garden Hotel was amazing. Lots of delicious choices, Chinese and American, and the dining room was full of adopting families. Over the week, we would come to know many of them by sight and even spend some time chatting with some.

After breakfast, our guide met us to take us to Kellin's medical appointment (in order to enter the U.S., he needed to be checked to ensure he didn't have tuberculosis or other diseases). There was another family in Guangzhou working with our same agency, so for appointments like these, our guide escorted us together. The other family was adopting a little girl who was four or five years old; she was friendly and talkative, and she loved Kellin.

Upon arriving at the medical center, Kellin had to have his photograph taken - sitting on a stool. Yeah, I told them there was no way he could sit on that stool by himself for a picture. They allowed me to support him from behind in a way that I wouldn't show in the picture. We headed upstairs to wait for his medical check. The waiting room was full of people and it was loud. Once we were called back to the examining area, it was kind of a zoo. It was full of adopting families and children of various ages. The area was set up with stations - height/weight, ENT, general doctor, and TB test.

In the waiting room

Kellin was getting pretty uncomfortable and fussy by this point, because of all the commotion. He had his height and weight checked, which was about what I expected (weight around 19 pounds). We met with the ENT doctor, who primarily held a squeaky toy next to Kellin's ear and squeaked it loudly. Kellin did not respond. The doctor tried this over and over, with both ears, and Kellin never reacted like he had heard it. Our guide translated that the doctor believed Kellin could not hear. This was scary to hear, but I didn't believe it. Yes, Kellin often ignored sounds around him, but he most definitely responded when I sang to him! In addition, Kellin was VERY stressed during this examination, because of all the touching and all the commotion.

The ENT

I mentioned in an earlier blog post that Kellin often behaved as though he was deaf during those first days and weeks. My personal hypothesis about this behavior is that in the orphanage, Kellin was probably surrounded by meaningless noise. That is, he may have heard people talking and walking around, children crying/playing, toys, objects being moved around - but since he couldn't see it, and no one ever connected the sounds with an object or person for him, he learned to tune it all out as meaningless background noise. As time went on, it became very clear that Kellin was NOT deaf; in fact, when sounds became meaningful for him, he demonstrated very good hearing.

Next we saw the general doctor. She listened to Kellin's heart and had me undress him for a quick physical examination. I will not forget the look on her face when she saw him undressed. With a sad look on her face and a quiet voice, she expressed that Kellin showed a "lack of nutrition." Although our conversation was very brief, I could tell that she was deeply affected by seeing how underweight and neglected Kellin was.

Kellin trying to push her away - he was DONE by this point!

The last station was the TB test. This was in a small room with a closed door, and parents were not allowed. I'm not sure if this was because of some medical protocol, or if it was to prevent newly adopted children from associating their new parents with a painful procedure. Our guide took Kellin in and he was back out quickly, crying of course. We would get the results of the TB test the next day.

When we returned to the hotel, Dad took Kellin upstairs to the apartment while the other adoptive mother and I went with our guide to the hotel's business center, so we could use the computers to complete more paperwork. It took longer than I had expected, but finally it was complete and I headed up to check on my son.

Later that afternoon, I started singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" with Kellin while pulling his arms back and forth in beat to the song. After I did this a few times, he started pulling on my arms when I stopped the song to indicate that he wanted to sing more. This was his first attempt at communication (other than crying) and the first time he had initiated anything on his own. That moment was so exciting, and I must have sung that song a dozen or more times.

Another quiet evening in the hotel. We had plans to go out and do some sight-seeing the next day, but we had been told the hotel had strollers available for use, so we planned to ask for one of those and hope that Kellin could tolerate an outing better if he didn't have to be held the whole time.

One Year Ago . . . January 16th

This morning still in our Jinan hotel - Kellin is standing with Grandpa!

This is what Kellin ate - his can of formula is on the right, and the package on the left is the biscuits that I would crush up and add to his bottle of formula and water.

Today was the day we would pick up our papers from the notary in Jinan and fly to Guangzhou! Our guide was to meet us in the first floor lobby of the hotel at 9:00, with a flight at 12:00. So we checked out (in the seventh floor lobby) and headed downstairs. As we were waiting, I realized that Kellin had a very dirty diaper. There was no bathroom on the first floor, so we took the elevator back up to the seventh floor lobby. There was a bathroom here, but as was typical, there was no changing table or handicap stall. So we went into a teeny tiny stall (barely room for the door to open and close with the toilet there) and I laid Kellin on the floor. Oh, my goodness - nightmare! Kellin was wearing a slippery winter coat and he was restless and crying, so he was sliding all around the floor (like practically behind the toilet!) as I tried to clean him up, and he kept trying to put his hands into his diaper. I was sweaty and FRUSTRATED by the time I finally got him cleaned up and headed back downstairs. Kellin cried the entire time.

Once our guide arrived, he informed us that our flight had been changed from 12:00 to 2:30 because the air quality was "hazardous," and once we got outside, we could see that the air was hazy, like dirty fog, and you couldn't see very far. It was frustrating to learn about the flight change though, since we had already checked out of the hotel and had no place to wait.

We headed to the notary, and it turned out to be a good thing to have extra time, because there was a mistake in the papers and we had to wait quite a while for them to be redone. I felt bad because I had gone into the building with our guide, leaving Dad and Kellin to wait in the car. It was supposed to be a quick trip in and out of the building, and instead, they were stuck in the car waiting for a long time.

Once we finally received the papers, we headed to the airport and made it through security by about noon. We settled in to wait for our flight. It was a small airport, but there were a few food places, so we bought sandwiches marked "hamburger." After opening them, we realized that there were NOT hamburgers, at least not what we would consider hamburgers. We couldn't figure out what the meat (or meat substitute) on them actually was. Yuck.

Waiting at the airport

We boarded the plane around 2:00 - Kellin's first plane ride! Kellin did great on the flight. He slept some of the time and sat on my lap for a while.

On the plane!

As we neared our landing in Guangzhou, I realized that Kellin had soaked through his diaper and both pairs of pants he was wearing and onto me (he did this often). The line for the airplane bathroom was all the way down the aisle, so I chose to wait to take care of it until we exited the plane in the Guangzhou airport. Lucky to find a bathroom there with a handicap stall, so at least there was room to change Kellin on the floor.

We retrieved our baggage and went out to meet our guide. The weather here was warm - 60's or 70's - and it felt overly warm to us in our heavy coats. We drove the hotel, which was a large, very fancy-looking place. It turned out that it is really THE place for most adopting families to stay in Guangzhou (and all adopting families must go through this city), so the lobby was full of American parents with newly-adopted Chinese children. I must admit, it was refreshing to hear American English. At the hotel in Jinan, I can't recall even seeing any other children, let alone any other adopting families. We were very isolated. During our week in Guangzhou, we would meet many other adopting families, and the one thing that always struck me is that I never saw another child who appeared to be as neglected and developmentally delayed as Kellin. Most of the children appeared fairly typical, with minor or less noticeable needs. I did not encounter anyone else who reported the eating issues that Kellin had; many children were great eaters and healthy-looking. Don't get me wrong - there were children with repaired cleft lip, spina bifida, albinism, medical issues, hearing impairments, etc. It's just that they were all still acting like kids - playing, eating, talking. This was in stark contrast to Kellin, who was limp or fussy most of the time and did not take initiative to do anything on his own.

We checked into the hotel and discovered that since we had requested two rooms, we were booked into an apartment rather than regular rooms. This turned out to be a great set-up for us. Our apartment had two bedrooms, each with an attached bathroom, a living/dining room area, and a small kitchen. And a WASHING MACHINE!

Here there was a crib for Kellin, rather than just a bed, and he seemed comfortable in it. I couldn't imagine sleeping in it though, because it was just a hard board with a blanket over it, but I suppose Kellin was used to something similar. We settled in, changed Kellin into pajamas, and enjoyed a quiet evening.

Two New Special Kiddos

I am taking a quick break from my "One Year Ago" posts to share two waiting children that have caught my eye, and my heart, recently.

This little guy is called Braydin.

http://reecesrainbow.org/102491/braydin

He is almost two years old and has Down Syndrome. He is said to be doing well developmentally. Doesn't he have the cutest little face?? He is listed with an agency that offers huge grants to families who adopt children with Down Syndrome, so his adoption fees are probably the lowest you can find. Down Syndrome is not a scary special need. With all of the medical care, education, and therapy available in the U.S., many children with Down Syndrome will grow into adults that are capable of living independently or semi-independently, and Braydin is already said to be doing well. I just want to pick this cutie up and squeeze him!

And this handsome little man is called Kevin. He is four years old and has no special needs. He was labeled "delayed" as an infant but has caught up in all areas. He had a family coming for him but they were not able to complete his adoption, so he needs a new family. While most children with mild needs are considered "LID," meaning that they can only be matched with a family who has already submitted all their paperwork to China, this little boy is considered "special focus," meaning that any family can receive pre-approval to adopt him, even without a completed home study (we did this for Kellin - we submitted our letter of intent to adopt him before even starting our home study, and received pre-approval before our home study was completed).

I would be happy to refer anyone interested in the adoption of either of these boys to the appropriate people!

One Year Ago . . . January 15th

Waiting Day number 2. We hung out in the hotel room all day. Kellin was already showing signs of getting stronger. He sat up and stood unsupported briefly today, and after our gazillion walking trips across the hotel room, I noticed that his walking was more controlled and deliberate. He also began to learn that when I touched his hand to the door and wall at each end of the room, we had to turn around to continue our walking.

We also spent a lot of time at the window so he could stare at the light. It was very difficult to distract him from this.

I saw more smiles today and a few giggles when he was tickled.

We stuck with his usual formula in the bottle, so eating went smoothly today.

A few pictures below. These pictures show the best moments of our day - Kellin did not allow cuddles like this most of the time, but he was starting to enjoy it for brief periods of time. So sweet!

One Year Ago . . . January 14th

Today and tomorrow were waiting days. We had completed all the paperwork that needed to be done in Jinan except for picking up the final papers from the notary, which we were supposed to do on Friday morning. On Friday, we would leave for Guangzhou for the next stage of paperwork, but until then, we were just hanging out. As I would get to know more adoptive families later in the trip and after arriving home, I realized that many families use these “waiting days” to go out and sight-see, check out restaurants, shop, etc. It was not practical for us to do those kinds of things with Kellin. He couldn’t handle being held for long outings like that and he didn’t like lots of people and commotion around him. His world had been very, very small (basically, just a crib) and even the hotel room was a life-changing expansion of his environment. So we spent most of these days in the hotel room, trying to play, interact, and eat.

We walked back and forth across the room over and over. We sat by the window so Kellin could stare at the light for long stretches of time. We did attempt a short walk to a nearby grocery store to buy some baby food, but we couldn’t linger because Kellin became very fussy (his whimpers were becoming louder by this point, more like cries).

I snuck some baby food veggies into his next bottle and he drank it! At least he was getting different tastes and more nutrition. We had Pizza Hut again for supper and then watched the move Sister Act on TV (choices were limited). And that evening, Kellin was so tired and relaxed that he fell asleep in my arms. That was a sweet moment, although I still had to lay him in his own bed for him to sleep soundly during the night.

This is a picture of the restaurant/indoor courtyard view from our hotel room window, in the evening. The restaurant was gorgeous, but during all the time we sat at that window, I only saw a handful of people eat there. However, there was always at least one employee standing at the entrance, ready to greet anyone who might enter. This was a common sight in many businesses in China - many employees who appeared to have very little to do. For example, in the grocery store, you might encounter an employee in every aisle, just waiting to help you if you needed anything.