So How is Kellin Doing?

Time for an update!

Kellin is showing more and more independence, more desire to do things for himself. Check this out!

Yes, that is Kellin HOLDING a cracker and taking BITES off of it! Getting Kellin to eat has been such a long journey, and those of you who have followed this blog for awhile know that getting him to touch, hold, chew, and bite food has been an intense, often unpleasant, process. And yet, here he is! Eating a cracker just like any other four-year-old would! Give him a meal of finger foods (as long as they are dry, crunchy foods) and he will feed himself! We still have a ways to go toward getting Kellin to feed himself different textures and getting more proficient with a spoon, but wow, we have come a long way.

Here he is walking down the stairs by himself. He always looks so tiny when he does this because he has to reach UP to hold onto the railing! It's pretty cute, though.

And this one is a picture from just this morning. Kellin is getting pretty comfortable walking around the living room, dining room, and kitchen, so after he finished eating and climbed down from his chair, he walked into the living room. A couple minutes later, I went to check on him and found that he had walked to the window, and when he found a box of blocks in his way, he decided to climb up on it to get a better view. Getting more adventurous and confident all the time!

For those of you who have been asking - no, Kellin is not using any words yet. He continues to use some signs to communicate and he is really babbling a lot more, but no genuine spoken words. This is one area that continues to be very difficult for all of us. Kellin is often an unhappy little boy and without him being able to communicate, it makes him (and us) so frustrated when we just don't know what is wrong. We know that when he came home, he did not use any Chinese words, which we suspect is the result of those two years in a crib, when no one tried to communicate with him. While we still believe that he has the capacity to learn to speak, it gets harder and harder all the time to cope with the fact that has not learned any words yet. We talk and sing to Kellin all the time, and we KNOW he understands so much (he can follow lots of simple directions!) - but he just can't seem to make the connection that he can use words to tell us things. I know that he most likely has to "re-wire" his brain after all that time of neglect in his crib, so I am trying to be patient and to have hope that he will figure this out eventually.


On a different note:

We are working on fundraisers for our Angel Tree child! Rabbit has designed her own thank-you cards and will be selling those to anyone who is interested. She created some amazing and fun designs that would be perfect for sending thank-yous to friends and family after the holidays. I will be posting pictures and details soon! We are willing to send them to people, so if you don't live locally, you can still purchase some.

The other fundraiser we are planning is to sell fudge. We won't be shipping the fudge, so this fundraiser is for local friends and family, and for anyone we may see over the next month.

I will be doing a post within the next few days with details about price and how to order and pay.

Please remember our Angel Tree "baby" - Xander, who continues to wait in an orphanage in China for a forever family. If you feel led to make a donation, you can follow the link below. Remember that a donation of $35 or more gets you an ornament for your Christmas tree! The link will get you to the Angel Tree website, but you will still have to find Xander. The children are organized alphabetically within groups based on how much money has been raised for them (Xander currently has $5 in his account, but we already have more donations here at home waiting to be sent in, which will be added soon) or you can use the CTRL-F function to search for him. Xander is ten years old and has been waiting four long years to be chosen for adoption. He has only a little over three more years before he will "age out" and no longer have a chance.

http://static.reecesrainbow.org/angeltree2015/

Reality

I will never claim to be the "best" advocate for orphans, and I certainly know of others who devote more time to informing others about the realities of orphans, but I believe with all of my heart that there is indeed an orphan crisis in this world. Let me share a couple of true stories of situations that have happened in the past couple weeks.

There was a little girl, five years old, living in an orphanage in Eastern Europe. She had only recently been listed for adoption, meaning that she lived the first five years of her life without even the possibility of being adopted. Once she was finally listed, a family committed to her quickly and began the process of trying to expedite her adoption because, believe it or not, this little girl weighed ten pounds. At five years old. Now here comes the really tragic part of this story - this little girl passed away last week. Before her family was able to get there. She died alone. And she died of starvation and neglect.

Now let me tell you about another child, a little boy this time, seven years old. He was recently adopted and made it home to the U.S. Because he also weighed about ten pounds (remember he is seven years old), he went immediately to the hospital upon arriving in this country. He was at great risk for re-feeding syndrome (which, if you're not familiar with this, is a very serious condition that can occur when a child who has been severely malnourished for an extended period of time is suddenly given good nutrition - their body just can't handle it and it can potentially be fatal) and in addition, his adoption file had indicated that he had multiple medical conditions and special needs. As you could probably guess, he underwent all kinds of medical tests in the hospital - and it was discovered that he had none of the conditions listed in his file. His "special" needs? Scoliosis and a clubbed foot. In other words, if he had received appropriate medical care from birth, he most likely would be a typical, healthy seven-year-old boy. Instead, he was starved and neglected, because of his "special needs" and is developmentally still an infant, although admittedly one with extraordinary untapped potential.

These situations are not unique. Many, many other orphans in this world live in similar conditions, and only a small percentage of them are even listed for adoption. I write this particular post to raise awareness of the realities of the lives of special needs orphans in many parts of the world, and to share the darkest side of this orphan situation.

I will forever be thankful that Kellin is no longer one of these neglected children, but I also know that I will never be able to forget about the many orphans still waiting, still suffering, and I will continue to do what I can to help them as long as I am able. Please consider what you can do. Pray, advocate, donate, fundraise, adopt - whatever you can do DOES make a difference.

Please don't forget about these children, the ones who are extra special to me:

Handsome Robbie!

Sweet Shepard

Xander, our Angel Tree child

Jesse, who has been waiting SO LONG

Quinntavius, who is not in a good orphanage situation and needs OUT

I am always happy to share more information about any of these children, or about the adoption process in general! Just send me a message, leave a comment, etc.

As a reminder of what a difference a family can make, here are the newest Kellin skills:

Kellin has a new enthusiasm for eating! He now will willingly and even eagerly (sometimes) feed himself pretty much anything that is hard, crunchy, and comes in bite-sized pieces (crackers, cereal, veggie straws, Cheetos, etc.). It is so amazing to see him actually ENJOYING eating, as I think back to all of the hours and hours we have spent over the past ten months coaxing him to eat, often with him screaming the whole time. I am not saying that mealtime is always a pleasant experience - he still fusses and complains at times - but the contrast between now and several months ago is so profound I can't quite believe it sometimes. He is well on his way to becoming an independent eater!

Kellin's preschool reported that he said "no" twice this morning! He still has no true, consistent, verbal words, so any progress toward this is exciting! And his newest sign - "window!" Because he loves to look out the window, especially if it is sunny.

Kellin climbs in and out of his booster seat at the table all by himself. And he is working on climbing into his car seat in the van by himself. He continues to become more and more comfortable with walking around at home and in public.

Hanging out in a chair at school.

Kellin decided to explore the bathroom and managed to find the toilet. If only we could teach him what that is for . . . 

Kellin Update!

It's been nearly 10 months since the day I met Kellin. And if you figure that his life essentially started that day (and in many ways, he was a lot like a very young infant), it's pretty amazing what he's accomplished in these 10 months.

Eating:
Then - ate only from a bottle, and not always very happily; rejected many new flavors; did not hold his own bottle; had a complete meltdown if any food was put into his mouth from a spoon or finger; could not chew at all
Now - eats from a spoon and is able to lift the spoon to and from his mouth (needs help scooping the food); drinks from a sippy cup; feeds himself finger foods (only hard, crunchy foods right now, but working on others); chews cereal, crackers, muffins; has foods that he actually seems to enjoy (Cheetos and Oreos - the kid loves his junk food!); has recently learned how to take a bite off of a piece of food

Sleeping:
Then - slept a few hours here and there; fussed and rocked in his crib for hours each night; could not be calmed by being held, cuddled, rocked, etc.
Now - nearly always sleeps through the night (9-10 hours)

Touch:
Then - did not like being touched or cuddled; would go limp or stiff when picked up because he was so unused to being held
Now - loves to be held, hugged, and cuddled; seeks out people and holds up his arms to be picked up

Moving around:
Then - preferred to lay in a fetal position; sometimes pulled to standing in his crib; with his hands held, would stomp his feet on the floor like an infant does; could not sit or crawl
Now - sits, crawls, stands, walks independently in familiar places and with a hand held in public; walks toward people and toys; climbs up onto the couch and into his booster seat, and back down; walks up and down the stairs by himself (both hands on the wall or railing); just today, I watched Kellin walk around the living room, climb up on the couch and then back down, climb up on a chair and back down, walk through the dining room and into the sunroom

Using his hands:
Then - would only touch things if I brought them to his hand; would not grasp any objects (I still remember the day we were out for a walk in Guangzhou and someone handed Kellin a piece of paper - and he held on to it briefly - I was so excited!)
Now - holds many toys and moves them around, turns them on; picks up food and puts it in his mouth; touches walls and furniture as he walks

Favorite activities:
Then - laying on his right side in a fetal position; playing with spit; poking his eyes; did react sometimes to singing and being tickled
Now - musical toys, splashing in water, looking out the window, doing the actions to many songs, being tickled, swinging, playing with gooey stuff like yogurt and shaving cream

Communication:
Then - did not respond to any words in Chinese or English, even his name; made a few random sounds
Now - understands many simple commands (stand up, lay down, sit down, step up, step down, pull pants down, walk, hands down, no poking, touch the wall); understands many words and phrases; waves "hi" and "bye-bye;" uses several signs to communicate (all done, please, window, swing, drink, blankie, mama, dada, cube, on, music, more); uses gestures to request his favorite songs; makes many sounds (but no real words yet)

Dressing:
Then - laid limp while being dressed and undressed
Now - pulls pants up and down; takes socks off; mostly independent in putting on and taking off shirts and coat; helps zip and unzip coat; holds out feet for shoes to be put on

Really, if you think of Kellin as a 10-month-old (the amount of time he's been with us, his family), he's doing great!! What will the next 10 months bring?!

Introducing Xander!

Reece's Rainbow started their Angel Tree fundraiser this past Sunday, November 1st, so it is time to introduce you to our Angel Tree child for this year!

Introducing . . . Xander!

Here is what I know about Xander. He is 10 years old, lives in China, and has Down Syndrome. He was found abandoned at six years old. Did you read that? SIX YEARS OLD. This means that his family managed to keep him for SIX YEARS before making the difficult decision to abandon him. I can only assume that this means they loved him very much, enough to stand up against family and/or societal pressure to abandon him as an infant. I'd like to believe that for those six years, they cared for him, celebrated his accomplishments, learned his likes and dislikes, and comforted him when he was upset or sick. I have no idea why they ultimately decided they couldn't keep him; perhaps the lack of access to medical care and education just became too much for them to overcome. Perhaps they believed he would have a better life if they gave him a chance to be adopted. Whatever the reason, Xander now needs a new family.

Xander falls into one of the least likely categories of children to be adopted: the older boy. Because he is already ten years old, he has less than four years to be found by his family before he will no longer be available to be adopted. This is China's rule, and there are no exceptions. But Xander sounds like he is doing very well! It is reported that he is active, takes care of his own personal needs (dressing, using the bathroom, etc.), and is well-behaved. It is noted that his expressive language is not good, and he uses gestures to help others understand him; however, his language is improving. But in just a little over three years, his chance of a family is gone forever.

Over the next two months, we will be advocating and fundraising for Xander as part of the Angel Tree fundraiser. Every dollar that goes into his account increases his chances of having a family. Maybe just one of those dollars pushes his account high enough to catch the attention of a family that wants to adopt a boy like Xander but doesn't have the financial means to do so. As an adoptive parent who was in the middle of fundraising just over a year ago, I can tell you that every single dollar truly matters.

If you want to donate to Xander's Angel Tree account, you can do that by going here - http://static.reecesrainbow.org/angeltree2015/  Once you get to this page, you can use CTRL-F to search for Xander, or you can just scroll down the page to find him. If you donate at least $35, you will receive a Christmas ornament from Reece's Rainbow as a thank-you. Our family will also be launching some fundraisers to help raise money for Xander, so stay tuned for more details on those! The goal for all the Angel Tree children is to raise at least $1000 for their accounts. Please help us to help Xander!

And another picture of Xander, just for fun:

Happy Birthday to My Baby!

Yesterday was Pooh's fourth birthday. We celebrated the day by going to the children's museum and then a special supper - Pooh chose chicken enchiladas followed by chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and chocolate ice cream. And to add to the fun, we had cousins visiting for the weekend, making for a very busy and exciting time!

Technically, Pooh is my "baby" because he is two months younger than Kellin, although of course most of the time, we think of Kellin as our baby because he really is the youngest in every way (size, developmentally, level of independence) except age. But I still like to think of Pooh as my "baby" sometimes.

Pooh was born four years ago, after my most difficult pregnancy (although I recognize it was not nearly as difficult as some). I had morning sickness for five months, and shortly after that ended, I developed gestational diabetes and had to follow a strict diet for the rest of my pregnancy. Pooh was born full-term and healthy, but after birth his blood sugar dropped a bit too low (common with babies whose mothers had gestational diabetes) and he lost too much weight. The solution to both of these issues, so the nurses told me, was to feed him more (I was nursing). Yeah, right. Easier said than done. Pooh was SUCH a sound sleeper that even though I tried to wake him every couple hours to eat, many times I did not succeed in getting him to wake up enough to eat. When we left the hospital, it was with instructions to bring him back in a couple days to have him weighed again. Thankfully, once we got home, Pooh decided to be awake and eat more, and he rapidly gained weight after that.

Pooh turned out to be the most delightful third child anyone could ask for. He was a content baby, a good eater, and easy to care for (except for sleeping, which was the only thing I could really complain about - and I blame this on the fact that for those first couple weeks I was not supposed to let him sleep very long without eating - thereby conditioning him to wake up frequently). He was a little bit of a later walker and talker, which I think was just because he was such an easygoing guy. As a toddler, his favorite activity, that would keep him occupied for long periods of time, was to sit on the floor surrounded by books and look through them one at a time. For a long time in public, he was very shy and did not talk to strangers, so much so that when he finally DID decide to talk to people (just within the last year), many people remarked on how they had no idea he could talk like that!

Now Pooh is a VERY articulate and curious four-year-old who talks all the time and asks questions constantly. His current interest is water towers (how they look, what they do, how they are same and different, etc.), and we actually put together a photo book of water towers as his birthday gift. He is a wonderful, delightful child and we are so blessed to have him as part of our family!

Happy Birthday, Pooh!

So Much to Share

We have had a great week around here! After his crazy-fussy weekend, Kellin suddenly turned into a much happier kid. Don't get me wrong, he still fusses and whines plenty, but somehow he just seems more settled and happier overall. Maybe he has finally adjusted to his new routine, maybe he even let go of some trauma from his past - whatever it is, we'll take it!

We've noticed that Kellin is much more confident in public lately. We went to a fall/harvest-type festival last weekend, and a science museum yesterday (pictures below), and Kellin chose to WALK around (some) at both places! He doesn't seem nearly as overwhelmed by crowds and noise as he used to be. Huge step forward!

Kellin's language is still inching forward. He is regularly adding new signs to his vocabulary AND maybe starting to verbalize a bit. A few days ago, he definitely said, "All done, all done" when he finished eating (however, he has not done this again) and this morning, I thought maybe he was trying to copy a couple of the words I said.

Kellin is becoming a rock star with those "put in" tasks I started working on all those months ago. He puts shapes into the bucket and plastic coins into his treasure chest toy pretty easily. I think it might be time to up the challenge - maybe he could start to put the shapes into the correct holes on the shape sorter? (Up until now, I just took the lid off and all he had to do was drop them in.)

Kellin climbs up onto the couch and ottoman, and onto our laps, by himself. He is getting much better about climbing in and out of his booster chair for mealtimes. Sometimes he walks down the stairs without holding our hands (he puts both hands on the wall instead).

On a few occasions, Kellin has taken a BITE off of a cracker. This is a HUGE first for him! The eating progress continues to be slow but steady.

I am going to put in some pictures here, but please continue reading to the end, as this post ends with me going into my "advocacy" mode and I really want you to see a couple of very sweet waiting boys. :-)

Fall Festival:

Peek-a-boo!

Rabbit and Pooh

It was a VERY windy day!

Train ride!

Best one of all four of them - not bad!

So much fun on the train!

Trying out the bike course.

Look how calm he is. :-)

Did I mention it was windy? Look at his hair!!

Science Museum:

Making giant bubbles

Light-up wall!

And more light!

I love the look of wonder on her face.

Pull hard!

Best way to look through a microscope - with your cheeks.

Touching fossils

Pooh too

That's a big astronaut!

Working hard

Kellin wanted to try too

And . . . happy in the light!

And random pictures:

These three worked with Daddy to build a Lego Millennium Falcon!

Goofy glasses from the science museum

Kellin loves to stand up on the windowsill and look out at the sunlight. Don't worry, Rabbit is right behind him.

Happy boy!

Kellin climbed up on the couch all by himself!

We thought maybe this could be Kellin's Halloween costume, but he did NOT like the hat!

Shouldn't all children have the opportunity to have these kinds of experiences? Even if they are orphans? Even if they have special needs? Even if they live halfway around the world?

Meet Shepard.

http://reecesrainbow.org/99191/shepard-2

Shepard has a sad story. He is two years old, has a resolved heart condition, and has vision issues. It is not known exactly how much he can see. His adoption was recently disrupted in-country. What that means is that his family traveled to China to adopt him, spent 24 hours with him, and then changed their minds and left without him. The reasons given were that it seemed that his vision appeared to be poorer than they were led to believe, and that he exhibited some autism-like behaviors. I saw a video of this little guy, made during those 24 hours his family spent with him. I can tell you that Shepard has WAY more skills at two years old than Kellin did at his Gotcha Day at age 3 1/2 (and look how far we've come!). I saw Shepard walking, eating, touching toys, and cuddling. He looked incredibly sweet. It is possible (but certainly not guaranteed) that those autism-like behaviors are simply institutional behaviors that are very typical for orphans, especially those with visual impairments. So Shepard once again waits. I hope and pray another family steps forward for him soon.

The other little guy here is someone I have featured before. This is Robbie. Isn't he handsome?

Robbie is perhaps the most special waiting child to me because I had the great privilege of meeting him when I was in China picking up Kellin in January. I felt an instant connection to this little bundle of energy, who grabbed my hands and chattered away. The staff told me he had a family coming for him. I thought of him often over the next months, wondering how he was doing and if his family had come yet. It hit me hard to learn this summer that his family was unable to complete his adoption. And the facts are that Robbie is five years old (an "older" boy) and he is visually impaired (for some reason, one of the least chosen special needs by adopting families), which means that his chances of finding a family are realistically not too good. However, I HAVE to believe that there is a family out there for him! My impressions of Robbie were that he was bright, talkative, social, and active. Robbie lives at Bethel, an amazing foster care program for visually impaired children. He receives good care and good education. However, in China, this only guarantees him a good "right now," not necessarily a good future. His visual impairment and orphan status are difficult obstacles to overcome in China. I desperately want this little boy to know the love and care of a family. I believe he would bring so much joy! I felt the joy radiating from him just in the few minutes I was lucky enough to spend with him!

Long Overdue Update

I know it's been WAY too long since I updated! The last few weeks have been a whirlwind as we settle back into our school year routine. Kellin has been in daycare for five weeks now, and in preschool for three. This has been a tough transition for him. It's clear that he has been very stressed by all the changes, new places, new people, and uncertain expectations. He expresses this mostly by fussing/whining/crying, which, when he gets into one of his moods, he can do pretty much for hours at a time, with nothing we can really do to comfort him. It's been frustrating. Last weekend, he literally cried ALL WEEKEND. For two days straight. And nothing worked to comfort him for very long. It was very stressful and frustrating for all of us. And yet, on his good days, he can go most of the day without fussing much, and we'll see lots of smiles. There doesn't seem to be much of a pattern yet - he has done this at school, daycare, and home. Maybe it's just when the stress builds to a level that he can't cope with anymore. In any case, we certainly hope he can adjust to his new schedule soon!

In terms of attachment during all this change, a few things have become clear. One, Kellin is strongly and solidly attached to Daddy. He reaches for Daddy, smiles for Daddy, gets excited when he hears his voice, prefers Daddy over all others. I believe that Kellin's attachment to me is weaker. Some days, he seems reluctant to let me leave him at daycare or school; other days he practically dives out of my arms to get to his daycare provider or teacher. He seems either indifferent or sometimes a little bit happy when I pick him up, but it's certainly not the dramatic reaction he has when Daddy appears. Sometimes this bothers me; other times I realize that it's natural, and that Kellin and I are still working toward a bond. I have heard many families say that their children bonded with Daddy first, because before adoption all caregivers were female and therefore the child may connect a female person with their previous unpredictable care. I am confident that we will eventually get there.

What about progress in other areas? Kellin's progress in many ways seems to have plateaued lately, probably because of all the emotions and changes he is dealing with, but we have noticed a few steps forward. The most exciting one is that his "language" seems to be growing. He has learned a few new signs, including waving bye-bye, and his babbling has really increased. It often seems like he says his big sister's name, and he is saying "mama" quite a bit more than he used to, but as always, I'm still not sure if he is connecting that to me. He is "singing" more too - babbling in a singsong way or humming. We are still hoping for that communication breakthrough!

Another bit of progress is that Kellin is chewing more food. We can give him regular crackers now, as long as we break them up into bite-sized pieces (he still can't or won't bite a piece off of food). He will only chew crunchy things like this, though, nothing that is mushier like bread. However, every small step forward is good, and I know we will get to the point where he is eating just as a child his age should be. He also seems to be (sometimes) showing that he WANTS to eat, and we think he is starting to understand the sensation of being hungry. Yes!

I hope that once Kellin really settles in to his new schedule, we will start to see more progress, now that he is attending preschool and receiving services from all kinds of therapists and teachers every week. Maybe my next update will have more exciting news to share!

Pictures!

I left Kellin over by his rocker (on the left) and came back to find him headed up the stairs. He had never gone up the stairs by himself before! When I got there, he was trying to figure out that laundry basket, which he knew wasn't supposed to be in his way. I also discovered he needed a diaper change, which made me wonder if he was trying to head upstairs to his bedroom where we usually change him?

Handsome little man!

Hanging with big sister!

These two sure have fun together!