One Day (or Night) at a Time

First time at the dinner table together.

Kellin has been home for six days now.  It has been quite the experience having him here!  The trip home was a bit rough on him, especially with the time change.  It is taking time for him to reemerge from his shell.  Day-by-day he is getting more comfortable and having more playful time with us at home.  Kathleen still does not think he is quite where he was behavior-wise compared to before the trip home.

The biggest issue is he is having a hard time sleeping during our night.  He ends up being awake for a good part of the night..  Then we spend the whole next day trying not to let him sleep too much so that he will hopefully sleep more the next night.  So of course, he spends a good part of his day very tired.

Experiencing the texture of rice cereal.

Once we get him on a good sleep schedule, the next order of business is to start expanding his food.  He was only ever fed from a bottle, and he is very resistant to having anything else put in his mouth.  So we cram everything we can into bottles: formula, rice cereal, and baby food.  He can be very picky with what he eats as well.  Kathleen tried giving him some pediasure today, and he was not having any of it.  Not only that, but it took quite a bit of convincing to get him to trust that the next bottle was back to the regular stuff.  We need to get this kid to eat!!

With Daddy and Pooh

With Tigger

With Rabbit

Of course not every moment has been a battle.  It has been great playing with him and watching him interact.  Rabbit has been especially doing a good job with Kellin.  She loves to play with him.  And it works out so well to have her around to keep him occupied when Kathleen or I need to get something else done around the house.  Tigger and Pooh will play with him for short amounts of time, but they quickly get bored because he doesn't want to play what they want to play.  I think this is a pretty common occurrence with young siblings though, it is the same way that Tigger has only recently starting playing much with Pooh.

Working on sitting while playing.

Kellin is stimming himself much less than when he first got home. He used to hit himself in the eye a lot, and that has stopped except for a rare occasion.  The other one is playing with his lips.  In and of itself it is not too bad, but he would end up covered with saliva!  He still does that one fairly often, but for the most part he has pretty good control over it, and only does it when he is really checked out.

He's a happy boy!

I think the best growth I have seen from him is he is more willing to be cuddled!  He still doesn't want it at all when he is trying to go to sleep.  But he'll take it when he needs comfort other times.

He can be such a goon at times.

He loves the light!

I keep feeling like I am not painting an adequate picture of what it is truly like to finally have him home.  Maybe it is because I am sleep deprived, maybe it is because words just cannot describe it!  The family definitely feels complete.  And even though he has been here for only a very short time, it feels normal, like he has been with us all along.

Home!

I am thrilled to report that Kellin and I, along with my dad, arrived home from China yesterday morning!  It was a very long trip home, including an expected night stuck in Detroit, but we finally made it.  Kellin did very well on the trip, actually - he was content to sit or lay in his seat for most of the plane rides.  The toughest part was all the lines and security checks, but the advantage of having a crying child is that you tend to get ushered to the front of those lines.

I know that Eric has been providing updates all during my time in China, but I thought I'd recap the trip from my perspective too, for those who may be interested.  We left the U.S. on January 8th and arrived in Beijing the next day.  We spent two days exploring that city before getting on the train to Jinan.  When we arrived in Jinan, we were informed by the guide that Kellin was already there and waiting for us.  Upon arriving at the hotel, I had just enough time to set down my things in the room and take off my coat before there was a knock on the door.  I opened it - and there he was!  The whole "transaction" (because that's really what it was - no chitchat, just quick paperwork and then the adults left) took less than half an hour, and then I was alone with my son.

Let me say that at this point, I was feeling so many different things - excited, nervous, scared.  Kellin's behavior and skills matched his file, pictures, and videos in nearly every way, so I "knew" what to expect - but knowing and then actually seeing are two very different things.  It was clear almost immediately that Kellin has been terribly neglected over the past two years (before that he was in foster care and did well there).  Although he was very clean when he arrived and had no evidence of rashes or lice or anything like that, he was super-skinny and so weak.  He had no muscle tone and could not sit on his own (although he could stand, surprisingly).  Remember he is almost 3 1/2 years old.  He was quickly overstimulated by touching and talking, and he preferred to spend all his time in his bed curled up in a fetal position, doing things like playing with his lips and hitting/pushing at his eyes.  He had never been given solid food, only a bottle of formula a few times a day.  He did not respond to sound, except for singing, sometimes.  He would not hold anything and had no interest in toys.  It broke my heart to watch him laying there, completely in his own world.

Over the past two weeks, it has been amazing watching Kellin come alive.  Don't get me wrong - we still have many, many things to work on, but we seen so many changes already.  He can sit up on his own and sometimes even gets himself into a sitting position.  He responds to several different songs and has started to do a few actions (like clapping and rocking).  He is able to be held and played with for long periods of time and then needs only a short time to "recharge" before we can play with him again.  He smiles and giggles (and is SO CUTE when he does).  He babbles.  He seems to sing the tune to "Twinkle Twinkle."  He will let us add baby food and rice cereal to his bottle, although no luck getting him to eat anything else yet.  He is starting to hold toys and even reach for them when he drops them.

We've seen him grow already - and we know that the journey has just begun!

Getting Closer

Today Kathleen and Kellin have there appointment at the American Consulate in Guangzhou.  This is a very official meeting to get the final permission to bring Kellin into the country.  He has been cleared medically, and you get 2 levels of pre-approval from immigration ahead of time, so I don't think they can say no at this point.  Then the next day he will receive his VISA so that on Friday, THEY CAN COME HOME!  Our understanding is that he becomes a U.S. citizen then as soon as he enters the country.

Kellin has been a little fussy as of late.  Perhaps there was a honeymoon period that is now over and he needs to test the waters of "how will this lady act when I cry"?  As I think as I said before, as much as it is not fun to have a crying kid around you.  It is an important part of bonding for him to be upset so Kathleen can have a chance to comfort him, to let him know that now there is somebody there when he need it.  They tried getting back to the playroom yesterday, but Kellin wasn't feeling it much.

Kellin is doing a very good job of standing on his own now.  They are trying to get him to walk along furniture, but he hasn't been too interested yet.  The other day Kathleen did say he transferred from the coffee table to the couch, so that is exciting.  Kathleen and Kellin continue to find ways to play together.  She has started teaching him "how big is Kellin?" and a few time he has raised his arms up so she will say "So Big".  Kathleen says he thinks that is pretty cool.

Back at home, we said good-bye to Grandma.  So we are on our own again.  Things are going pretty smoothly.  Yesterday I have to admit I had so much school work to do that I let the kids watch a movie so that I could get caught up.  The movie kept them up a good 45 min to an hour longer than they should have been.  So Pooh was pretty crabby at daycare, and Tigger fell asleep in school.  As soon as I'm done with this blog, I need to go do some more.  I don't want to be grading all weekend, my first days with Kellin.  Luckily, Monday is a teacher workshop day, so if anything I don't get done this week, I can leave for Monday.

It is hard to imagine exactly what life with Kellin will be like.  We're about to find out.  Preparing myself for a challenging road ahead.  But I know our family.  There are going to be some tough times, but we can do it together.

Not sure if I will blog again before Kellin comes home or not.  We will only have one more chance to Skype with Kathleen, so I don't know what I'll be getting for updates.  It will be very late Friday when we get home.  In the mean time, we have piano lessons, Jump Rope 4 Heart, maybe gymnastics and of course more grading that needs to happen.

Thank you all so much for supporting us on this journey, and we will see you on the next road!  Haven't decided if we will start a new blog.  Racing2Kellin won't seem appropriate when he is here, but I'm sure some of you will want to know how things are going still.

Playtime!

Out for a walk with some new friends.

Guangzhou so far has been a great place for Kathleen and Kellin to be.  I always thought it was so weird to have all the adopting families have to complete the process.  But it is actually nice this way.  In Jinan, when Kathleen and Kellin were out and about they would get a lot of looks.  Since there are so many adopting families in Guangzhou they don't get those looks.  Even better, she has had the chance to visit with these other families.  Nothing is better for a person then to get to socialize with others that are in the same boat.  The playroom has been so great for Kellin.  It is great to see him exploring all the different toys and showing interest in so many things.

In the play room.

I feel like I have already written this next thing, but I looked back on my blog from before and didn't see it, so sorry if this is a repeat.  Kathleen has been working on getting to Kellin to not do some of his stims any more.  And he is hitting himself in the eye less.  The other one she is working on is he plays with his lips a lot, which in and of itself is not a big deal, but he tends to let a lot of saliva out when he does it so that it makes a big mess.  He is getting it a little bit, because with the hitting himself, he will do it once and then grin at Kathleen, so it has become a bit of a game.  A couple of the behaviors she is just letting be because they are harmless.  Things like just pressing on his eyes, and pulling down on his cheeks to open up his eyes more.

Kellin still loves to be sung to.  Kathleen is trying to teach him some games like pat-a-cake.  The other day she had him sitting on her lap and was singing "Row, row, row your boat" to him while pulling back and forth on his hands.  After she stopped, he pulled on her hands to get her to do it again.  Even more exciting, the next day, he initiated it again!  Putting a song to an experience definitely seems to get him to pay attention.  So much progress in such a small amount of time.

Great to see him exploring the world around him!

Here at home things are going pretty well.  Except for right now, having issues with Rabbit being Rabbit, even Grandma can't fix that.  It has been nice to have a second adult to rely on to help with the kids.  I was able to get partway caught up with schoolwork.  I got a project finished up.  I brought the dog to be bathed and nails done.  The one thing I regret that I didn't get done with this warm weather, I'm just realizing I still have not taken the Christmas lights off the house.  Oh well.

New week starting.  Hopefully we can all plow through it and Kathleen and Kellin will be home before we know it.

Doctor's Visit

Kellin went to the doctor's today for a check-up.  Basically to make sure he doesn't have any contagious diseases before going to the U.S.  They still have to wait for the tuberculosis test which will come back tomorrow.  The only concerns raised at the doctor were his hearing and nutrition.  The hearing concern is that he did not turn towards a squeaky toy.  But Kathleen knows he hears her when she sings.  And his reaction to sounds is always to be still and listen.  As far as the nutrition goes, we already knew that, and she is doing the best she can to remedy that.  Hopefully the tuberculosis test comes back negative.

He's standing!

The hotel room they are in now is more like an apartment.  It has two bedrooms, each with its own bathroom, a living room and a kitchenette.  It also has a crib for Kellin, which is good because he was getting pretty adventurous in the bed.  The most exciting part is it has a washing machine, but I'm not sure they've figured out how to work it yet.  Actually scratch that, the most exciting part was the washing machine, until they discovered the play room!  The found it on their way back from breakfast.  I'm sure they will be down to use that a fair bit in this last week before coming home!

I probably would have more to share, but there were serious internet issues this evening.  Actually it seems everybody else got to talk to Kathleen (or Mike) but whenever I got in on the line, the connection would go and I didn't get to say a word to her really.  That was really frustrating for me.  The time away isn't so bad with the occasional Skype.  Now it has been over a day since the last quality conversation I have been able to have.  Hopefully it will work better tomorrow.

Things have been going smoothly here at home.  It has been nice to have Grandma here with us for a couple of days.  She has been doing a good job keeping the kids entertained so I can get some rest and some work done.  It was especially nice to get to sleep until 7:30 am today instead of 5:30.

Brief Update

Flight was delayed, but apparently that was a good thing
as a mistake had been made at the notary.

Kathleen and Kellin are now in Guangzhou.  I had to have her clarify exactly what our status is.  He is completely our child right now, but Guangzhou is where you go through the necessary paperwork to make him able to travel into the United States and become a citizen.

The flight was a little bit rough, but Kellin did pretty well, and only fussed the last little bit.  That might have been due to completely soaking his diaper, and pants and Kathleen.  And apparently there was a huge line for the bathroom, so they just waited until landing to take care of it. Today Kellin goes to the doctor to make sure he isn't carrying any diseases the would prevent him from being allowed into the country.

Kellin is growing more comfortable with Kathleen, and she says he actually likes being held quite a bit now!  She thinks he may even have said "mama" and meant her!  Just amazing how much a child can change in such a short period of time when they get what they need.

I can't tell from this picture to what extent he is standing on
his own and how much he is leaning on Grandpa

On the home-front, nothing too new here. Grandma is here to help entertain the kids for the weekend so I can get a break and have some time to catch back up on work that has been neglected.  We had some issues cleaning the house yesterday, and I have to admit I really lost my temper.  But we all worked through it.  Rabbit and I had a very successful infusion set change this morning, no pouting, no crying, and it was done in 5 minutes!

Tired

I do not have a whole lot new to add tonight, but I figured some of you might want to know what we have all been up to.

We haven't always been able to find time to Skype, it is very difficult to coordinate schedules, but we have a couple of times since the last time I posted.  I feel that from the first time I saw Kellin on Skype to what I have seen from him recently, he is looking much more comfortable with Kathleen.  The first time, he was squirming, and stimming, and just really looked like he didn't want to be there.  Now he will sit and even cuddle in a little bit!  He still tires of the attention and wants to be left alone sometimes, and that is hard on Kathleen, but even though having somebody love you is a change for the better, it is a big adjustment!  Keep your prayers with Kathleen and Kellin.  I know she is a little overwhelmed, not so much with the care-giving.  I think just with the sadness of realizing just how bad his life was to make him react to things in the way he does.

On to the positives!  Kellin is vocalizing more and more.  Kathleen has heard him say "mama"  and "baba".  Not in a way that means anything yet, but just like a baby, you start with their utterances and get them to associate it with something so that it means something.  The goal for "mama" is obvious.  For "baba", he has a ball that he enjoys holding, so Kathleen is trying to use that on him.  In terms of food, she is slowly getting him to take in a few new flavors, some baby veggies, and some yogurt.  But at this point everything still needs to come from the bottle.  Right now, the goal is to get that kid some Calories!  Kathleen suspects Kellin does have some light sensitivity.  He has responded to lights being turned off.  He likes to sit by the window in their hotel room, facing it, but only when it is light outside.

They have gotten out to do some sight-seeing.  Today they are hotel-bound as the air quality is "dangerous".  I don't know what all is they see.  I only get the pictures, no explanations to go with them. Tomorrow they have the next big challenge, flying to Guangzhou.  Hopefully Kellin will be able to handle that ok.  I guess that is good practice for the long international flight home about a week later.

Here at home things are going well enough.  I am getting a bit worn down, and a bit behind.  The past couple of evenings it has been get home, make supper, eat quick and head out.  Last night it was to pick up the new van.  We had thought about waiting until the summer to purchase a vehicle, but as the fundraising was very successful and we ended up not as cash-strapped as we feared at the end, we decided we did not need to.  It will be nice to have a vehicle that can hold the whole family.  The three kids at home have already had a lot of fun riding in it.  Tonight was piano lessons for Rabbit.  After that, online grading for me.  I really should grade some other papers, but the kids will forgive me, and the laundry has been waiting to be folded for quite awhile.

I really should not complain.  I'm not really doing any more than Kathleen has to do regularly.  When I am coaching I am often gone and she has to do all the things that I have been doing by herself.  Of course we all know she is more competent than I am.  Luckily Grandma is coming to visit this weekend, and she can entertain the kids while I get caught up on everything that I'm too tired to do right now.

So I think we are all a little weary, and ready to be reunited.  We know it isn't going get easier when Kathleen and Kellin are home, but at least then we will be doing it together.